Feedback Form
Home Features Mastermind Forums About Advertise Blog Network Contact Be An Author

What Resentment Teaches You

What Resentment Teaches You

Dear Jane,
I’m so resentful I feel like I’m going to burst (or at least raise my blood pressure to dangerous levels). I don’t know what to do to let it go. Is there a process?

As much as I resent feeling resentment, I am learning to accept it as one of my greatest teachers. Every time I feel it (often dozens of times daily), I have a chance to examine it for what it really is: a disguised regret.

Here’s one brief example: I was cutting it close getting to an appointment and, sure enough, a driver pulled out in front of me and then drove ever so slowly. I found myself seething with resentment as each tenth of a mile passed. Although I didn’t scream or honk, I thought, “You idiot. You’re making me late. If it weren’t for you, I would have gotten there on time.”

While this may be true at one level, I am certainly not going to create inner or outer peace by justifying my resentment. So I forced myself to go deeper. If I trust that underneath my resentment for this driver is some regret, what could it be? In a surprising way, my regrets unfolded in layers from superficial to visceral. Here they are:
I regret making someone else late because of me.
I regret cutting things so close and feeling stressed.
I regret acting as though I’m not important enough to leave enough time for things in my life.
I regret believing I’m not important enough.

That last one struck me hardest—in my heart and gut. I was sad about it but relieved too. It is a relief to know that I can go from cussing out a stranger on the road to learning that I still need practice valuing myself more. It is a relief to know that the healing for resentment is always the same: Look for the deepest, truest regret, which will likely contain an old self-judgment. Forgive yourself for how you have treated yourself and/or others as a result of holding this self-judgment. Give yourself compassion.





What Resentment Teaches You - To learn more about this author, visit Jane Straus's Website.

Like this article? Share it with your friends

Article Feedback
 Article Feedback No article feedback found.
  Leave Your Feedback
article feedback

Article Feedback
Linda Richardson
Linda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website


To learn more about the Evan Elite Author Program please contact us.

About The Author


Jane Straus
(Visit Jane's Website) Relationship expert, author, radio host, and media guest, Jane Straus gives individuals, couples, and organizations the tools to thrive and experience the extraordinary in life. Visit her media page to view her clips from shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC; peruse her articles in USA Today, CNN.com, Woman's World Magazine, and other print publications; and read her newsletters and excerpts from her popular self-help book, Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. She is also the author of a bestseller, The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation and founder of www.grammarbook.com, one of the most popular online resources for English usage rules, examples, and quizzes--all FREE. Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

Jane Straus is a Platinum author on EvanCarmichael.com
About The Author

View Author Blog
View Author Blog

View Author Video
Straus' Life Keys Part 1 - A MyPathTV Exclusive! Author and EvanCarmichael.com expert Jane Straus speaks about her '10 Keys to Creating Your Extraordinary Life'.
View Author Video

Free Downloads


Jane Straus's

Complete
List Of
Work-Life
Articles

Name
Email
If you enjoyed this article, get Jane Straus's Complete List of Work-Life Articles For FREE!

More Jane Straus
What Resentment Teaches You
Entering 2008 Thriving not Just Enduring
5 Keys to Abundance
Are You Persevering or Enduring
Feeling Ignored
Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection
The Attitude of Gratitude
The Law of Attraction vs Nonattachment
Down with StressUp with Thriving
The Key to Keeping Your New Years Resolutions
Free Downloads


 
 
 


Evan Elite Authors
Jay Kubassek  
Linda Richardson  
Casey Gollan  
Evan Elite Authors

Become An Author
Have you written articles that would be of value to entrepreneurs? Become an expert on our site by publishing them! Expose yourself to a wide audience, drive more traffic to your website and get more sales! Click Here for details.
Become An Author

Evan's Latest Video
Modeling the Masters: Learn the true secrets behind Walt Disney's business success factors & grow your company! Video produced by Phanta Media
Evan's Latest Video

Business Opportunities
"Learn straight from Evan how you can Make a Full Time Income (And More) from a Website"

How to Start An Online Business

Click Here To Learn More
Business Opportunities



Evan's Newsletter
Get advice & tips from famous business owners, new articles by entrepreneur experts, my latest website updates, & special sneak peaks at what's to come!
Name:
Email:
Evan`s Newsletter

Free Downloads
The Flowing Point Icon The Flowing Point
Maslow For Entrepreneurs Icon Maslow For Entrepreneurs
Why Business Owners Quit Icon Why Business Owners Quit
The Evolution Of Networking Icon The Evolution Of Networking
Get a Top 20 Ranking Icon Get a Top 20 Ranking
Free Downloads - Complete List

Entrepreneur Tools and Guides
More PR Resources
More PR Resources
Press Release Builder
 
Top 50 Geek Business Blogs
Top 50 Geek Business Blogs
Top 50 Geek Business Blogs
 
Entrepreneur Tools and Guides

SEO For Africa
SEO For Africa
Sarah Kofie Cape Coast, Ghana,
Sarah Kofie
Cape Coast, Ghana
SEO For Africa

If I Were A Startup...
Frank Cianciulli, $2.3 to $7.5 Mil in 2 years
Frank Cianciulli
$2.3 to $7.5 Mil in 2 years
Lisa Shepherd, $335k to $1.1 Mil in 2 years
Lisa Shepherd
$335k to $1.1 Mil in 2 years
If I Were A Startup... - Complete List

Famous Entrepreneurs
John Willard Marriott, Marriott
W.K. Kellogg, Kellogg's
W.K. Kellogg
Kellogg's
Famous Entrepreneurs - Complete List

Entrepreneur Advice
Jeffrey Gitomer, The Sales Bible
Jeffrey Gitomer
The Sales Bible
Brad Feld, Venture Capitalist
Brad Feld
Venture Capitalist
Entrepreneur Advice - Complete List

Popular Articles
(Premium Authors)

     Looking for an Easy Online Business Opportunity?
By Karen Whaley
     Try Lying to Build Your Legitimate Home Based Business
By Karen Whaley
     Which Online Business Opportunity is Right For Me?
By Karen Whaley

Have A Suggestion?
Toronto Salsa Classes / Toronto Salsa Lessons Email us your ideas on how to make our website more valuable! Thank you Sharon from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for your suggestions to make the newsletter look like the website and profile younger entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez and Sean Combs!
Have A Suggestion?

More Evan Carmichael
More popular articles
- Franchising Consultants
More Information