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“What would you do if you had no fear?” This is the intriguing question that my friend, author Diane Conway, posed to people. Their answers inspired her to write a book of the same name. Her question inspires me to stop often during the day to ask this of myself. Even when I don’t realize that I’m fearful, I find the question useful because fear has many symptoms and disguises.
When I am afraid but don’t realize it, I can feel everything from sleepy to nervous, antsy to dull, wanting to procrastinate or burying myself in minutiae. One way I can recognize that F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) is running the show is by reflecting on this simple yet invaluable question.
For instance, I had a meeting in Los Angeles the other day where the stakes felt high. As I entered the high-rise building elevator, avoiding my reflection in the brilliantly shined chrome, my stomach fluttered and my heart began to pound. Excitement? Anxiety? Both?
Regardless, it was certainly a good time to ask myself, “What would I do if I had no fear?” The answer came to me quickly: I would reveal more about my ideas and goals rather than hold back and wait to be sure I was safe. By the time the elevator doors parted, I felt more decisive and prepared for whatever lay in store for me. Interestingly, instead of focusing on the myriad of “what if’s” that could derail the project, I felt present and found myself enjoying rather than enduring the meeting. Although I don’t yet know the outcome of that meeting, I am relishing the “afterglow” we all get when we face fear with courage.
When last week my 15-year-old daughter came to me to talk about some hurt feelings following a conversation with a friend, I asked her gently, “What would you do right now if you had no fear?” Her sobs subsided and with renewed strength in her voice, she said, “I would call her and ask her what’s going on.” That one magic question empowered her to find her own wisdom. All she needed from me was some TLC and maybe a little cheer leading.
Not letting fear stand in our way is something most of us need to learn repeatedly. Even though I have lived through a brain tumor, I can still get caught up in the day-to-day “what if’s” that generate fear. In my book, Enough Is Enough!, I give keys for saying “boo” back to fear. This is not a one-time event; courage requires ongoing vigilance…and no excuses.
So thank you, Diane, for posing the question that all of us deserve to ask ourselves. And thank you to my family, friends, and clients who, every day, show me how to respond to this question with courage, vulnerability, and truth.
The first is fear.
The fear that you'll have to implement whatever you dream up.
The fear that you will fail.
The fear that you will do something stupid and be ridiculed by your peers for decades.
There really is "healthy fear." For example, it's very healthy to fear drinking before you drive. However, fear should not be allowed to run rampant through our lives so that it becomes such a devastating factor ...
Dear Jane,
I’m re-taking a short seminar and then starting my own business. But something is holding me back. I know it's fear, but so what!
Good for you for recognizing that it’s fear and for not making excuse...
What does fear look like for you? Not many of us like to admit we have any fear. Fear comes in many shapes and sizes. Ask yourself what is the fear? Chances are it is your thinking that got you to...
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Jane Straus
(Visit Jane's Website)
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach,
dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of
Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start
Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor
and grace, Jane offers her clients and
seminar participants insights and
exercises to ensure that the next chapter
of their lives is about thriving as the
unique individuals they have always been
and the extraordinary ones they are still
becoming. She serves clients worldwide and
invites you to visit her site, www.stopendu
ring.com. Here you will find excerpts
from her book, more articles, TV and radio
interviews, and clips from her
presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of
Grammar and Punctuation, www.grammarbo
ok.com, an award-winning online
resource and workbook with
easy-to-understand rules, real-world
examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@Jan
eStraus.com.
Straus' Life Keys Part 1 - A MyPathTV Exclusive! Author and EvanCarmichael.com expert Jane Straus speaks about her '10 Keys to Creating Your Extraordinary Life'.
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The first is fear.
The fear that you'll have to implement whatever you dream up.
The fear that you will fail.
The fear that you will do something stupid and be ridiculed by your peers for decades.
There really is "healthy fear." For example, it's very healthy to fear drinking before you drive. However, fear should not be allowed to run rampant through our lives so that it becomes such a devastating factor ...
