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Change, accept or walk away?

Guest post by: Lisa Phillips

Article Overview: Try this process the next time you need to make a decision or take some action!

Change, accept or walk away?

A process I often use in my coaching practise is ' Change, Accept or Walk Away'. This is a great process to use when you are unsure what action to take or when you can't seem to decide what you need to do to resolve a particularly tricky situation.

One of my clients recently discussed with me the fact that she was finding it very difficult to work with a particular work colleague who she found to be negative and a gossip. This had been going on for several months and my client was starting to resent this individual and was doing her very best to avoid her whenever possible!

So, we began to look to see what options my client had in dealing with this person.

First we looked at CHANGE.

Was it possible to CHANGE the situation? What options were available for change?

We both agreed that we couldn't change this individuals behaviour but we could make some changes ourselves! These included:

• 1) Being assertive and speaking with the individual concerned about the effect she was having on others
• 2) Changing our own reaction, in order to ' disconnect' with this other person and not buy into their negativity
• 3) Request to move desks within the organisations
• 4) Try to have empathy for this person and show her through our own actions, that it is better to be positive!

We then looked at ACCEPT.

Was it possible to accept the situation? What options were available to acceptance?

• 1) We agreed that another option would be just to accept that this person was like this and try not to engage with them or buy into their negative actions. The key was to not allow this persons behaviour to upset us and we were going to try and accept them for who they are! ( easier said than done sometimes!)

Finally, we looked at WALK AWAY?

Was this situation so bad that we needed to walk away? Did we need to start looking for alternative employment?

• 1) My client decided that apart from dealing with this individual, she really enjoyed her job so walking away was not really an option.

One of the beneficial things about this process is that it can force us to take responsibility and get out of blame mode. Try it the next time you need to resolve an issue!

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Article Tags: action, decision, happiness, responsibility, stuck, what to do



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