We feel justified in holding onto the hurts and are unwilling to let them go. The only issue with this is that it the resentment sits in your body, preventing you from moving on – and does not effect the person that we are resenting at all! They cannot possibly feel all the pain we are carrying from our hurt – so in the end, the only person it hurts is ourselves! Letting go of the hurt does not necessarily mean that we need to agree with the how the person has treated us or invite them back into your life again ( often it is not a good idea to do so) – however, it does allow us to move on and look at the positives and blessings from our pain. A decision to let go of the emotions is very empowering. It can restore energy and integrity into our lives. It can open us up to new possibilities!
Often it is useful to acknowledge to yourself that you are only feeling resentful as you may have given up your personal power. It is only when you don’t own your power fully that it can show up as resentment.
To let go, is to surrender and release the hurt that is within you. It is releasing the debt you feel that they owe you. It may be that you are scared of letting go of this as it will create a void in our lives. However, holding onto this pain can create more pain and emptiness and block any new possibilities of love.
Many of us may also need to give up needing to have the person who hurt us understand all the pain that they have caused. Yes, it feels good to gain an apology, but it is not good to go and chase one if the other person does not seem willing. The most loving thing you can do for yourself in these situations is look at our own part, learn from the mistakes and grow more loving and understanding of ourselves.
The antidote for resentment is often acceptance. Accept that you have been hurt and look at ways you can protect yourself in the future. Look at your boundaries or how you may have allowed someone to hurt you. Look at how you may have given your power away.
A useful exercise is to look at what you may have gained or learned through the hurt.
You will know when you have really let go of the hurt when you don’t give it too much energy anymore. When it comes to creating more love into our lives, we need to release all that is not love from our hearts.
Try these exercises to help you release the past:
Write in your Journal a list of the people you feel you are holding resentment towards
For each of the people you have identified, ask yourself the following questions:
1) What do I resent this person for?
2) What was I responsible for in this situation?
3) How did I give my power away to this person?
4) What lessons did I learn from this situation?
5) What good will come of this situation?
6) What have I been unwilling to accept about this situation?
7) What can I now let go of so that I can complete this situation?
8) What steps can I take to ensure that I do not repeat this pattern?
It also may be useful to sit down and write a letter to the people concerned. Allow yourself to write down any emotion you may be feeling such as hurt, anger, resentment etc. There is no need to send the letter. You may wish to burn the letter or rip it into shreds once you have completed it. All of these actions are symbolic of the fact you are ready to let go and move onto to more love!
To learn more about this author, visit Lisa Phillips's Website.
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