Christiane Pohl Subscribe to Christiane's articles (Visit Christiane's Website) Christiane Pohl does not just talk about it….she has actually done it. She has successfully created her life vision and has helped hundreds of people to do the same. In her coaching sessions, seminars and talks she inspires people and organizations to express their vision, clarify their purpose and create an environment that promotes productive cooperation with honest, clear communication. ‘Less Stress & More Life’ has become Christiane’s trademark for a series of compelling insights that bring clarity to the complex issue of how to thrive in Life and Business and successfully manage Time, Money, Relationships, Career and Health. Drawing on her experience as Manager, Therapist and tireless researcher Christiane devotes her time to help people to manage easier in both life and at work. With humor, wisdom and a strong dose of every day reality she offers tools and insights that will challenge you, transform you, inspire you and leave you with a new and powerful understanding of your self and your life. Christiane Pohl is a Platinum author on EvanCarmichael.com

Making a Difference....together - Life and Leadership coaching specializing in Stress Management to help you lead the life of your choice filled with purpose and success. For more details on how I work take a look at my website www.christianepohl.com

Christiane Pohl's Complete List Of Work-Life Articles Name Email If you enjoyed this article, get Christiane Pohl's Complete List of Work-Life Articles For FREE! More Christiane Pohl Less Stress More Profit the Value of Corporate Stress Management Training Sucess and Profit by leading from your Heart Leadership Skills Taking responsibility for our own choices and learning to stop playing the Blaming Game Join forces to expand your vision A Road worth Traveling The Art of Feeling Good in Life and Work Exploring the Dynamics of Less Mind and More Heart How to reduce Stress and increase Health Happiness and Success Does Spirituality enhance the work environment The 4 main Stress factors and how you can reduce their impact

Difficult people do exist, even if just in our minds. Difficult people come in every variety and can be colleagues, partners, family members, clients or strangers. How difficult a person is for us to deal with mainly depends on our own self-esteem, our self-confidence, our self-awareness and our courage.

No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who annoy us or people who simply do not like us. People trigger our emotions and our emotions activate our basic survival instinct: to react and attack or hide.

Patterns for hiding may include delaying or avoiding dealing with difficult people, making sympathetic noises when other people are affected - but doing little else, thinking it's you, not them.

The other option of course is to fight it out, and show them who is boss by becoming aggressive, ironic or sarcastic yourself, pointing out their faults and shortcomings, ignoring their wishes, making no attempt to understand their point of view, label them crazy.

The least aware we are of how our emotions are triggered, the more likely we are to be controlled by them.

During my years as Manager, Therapist and Coach I worked with thousands of people and can say that the truly difficult ones were far and few in between. Solutions could usually be found. I came to realize that my own attitude played a key role in how successful I was and also in how I felt during and after the process.

The first question I started to ask myself was:

What makes this person or situation difficult for you to deal with?

Top of my list were: taking things personally, wanting to have control, being judgmental, resenting or resisting the other person’s behavior, feeling superior to them, feeling unable to relate and of course fear.

And as I am a great believer in making life easy, I focused my attention on finding solutions. Life is much too valuable to spend our time feeling frustrated, miserable, angry or stressed.

I have a total of 10 tips of how to successfully deal with difficult people and still feel good about your self in the process.

Below I have listed the TOP 5. I will share the remaining 5 with you in my November newsletter.

Tip 1- Reframe

Instead of thinking difficult, think challenge. Treating difficult people or situations as a challenge is invigorating and will lead you to be more creative and focus your attention on solutions rather then on the problem.

Tip 2 - Leave your EGO behind

Many conflicts are battles of EGOs, wanting to be right, acknowledged, heard, considered or admired are human traits. However it is impossible to solve conflicts when both parties want to come out on top. Stop imposing your views on others. Listen and step back and you will move forward.

Tip 3 - Depersonalize

Behavior is not personal. People’s behavior has rarely anything to do with you. People act a certain way because this is how they are. Their behavior is simply a reflection on how they feel in general and not on how they feel about you. Stay objective and deal with the issue not with the person.

Tip 4 - Understand Fear

So called 'Difficult people' frequently behave the way they do out of some sort of fear. See if you can identify their fear and help them overcome it. At the same time check if your reactions are motivated by fear too. Look for signs of being defensive, negative or overcritical.

Tip 5 – Be Practical

If you cannot change the situation, live with it. Simply decide to not stress about what cannot be changed. Or let go of the person or situation by simply recognizing that this may be better for all involved.


In Part 2 I will share with you my additional five tips of dealing with difficult people. Included will also be a section on the benefits of developing your Emotional Intelligence to help you manage yourself and others more effectively.

For coaching on how to better deal with your own difficult people or for information on related workshops feel free to contact me directly.

With my best wishes to Your Success,

Christiane

How to successfully deal with difficult people and feel good - To learn more about this author, visit Christiane Pohl's Website.

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Joe Dager Joe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website

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