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Dont attack Life It is a process

Dont attack Life It is a process

Attacking the World to achieve anything is fraught. Life is not a campaign to be won or lost. It is a process starting with childhood and continuing until old age. In the process of living it is necessary to know the negative so that the positive can be appreciated. Events occur; things happen; life must be lived. It is how you react or how you think about an event or occurrence that gives it meaning. This is the old, “is the glass half full or half empty” approach. Any good is as a result of “my efforts”. Anything negative is “not my fault”. Sound familiar? Shakespeare said, “There is nothing good or bad, except thinking makes it so” (Hamlet).

It is thoughts then, in the first instance, that motivate. Everything done is as a result of a thought; it is fundamental to the process that is called life. Process, in this context means the fact that life is dynamic. To move (mentally) is to grow. To stay still, to stagnate, is to risk the death of ideas, thought processes and initiative. Living in the past was never possible. The present moment, now, is the only time that Life is actually present. The past is but a memory and the future still a dream. Thus the process of life can only take place with full recognition of what is happening at this precise moment. Here, now.

The wisdom of the ancients is in the following quote from Epictetus (55 AD to 135 AD), “Seek not to have things happen as you choose; choose rather for things to happen as they do and thus live prosperously”. In other words don’t try to force the world to comply with your wishes or desires. To attack the world as if it were an enemy to be subjugated, and success the only objective, is a dead end. This can never be achieved. Such a course of action, if attempted, leads only to frustration, anger and eventually despair. Success or failure; prosperity or poverty; fast or slow; light or darkness – these are part of the process called Life. Getting stressed and frustrated because the world will not bend to your will is not very clever.

Mind you, there are occasions when persistence is required and when a will to succeed is admirable, but be flexible. Allow the process of life to take its course, allow people to say what they like without over reacting. Remember the reed, which in the East is a symbol of strength. In a flood, bridges, causeways, or anything rigid, will be washed away. When the waters subside the reed springs back into place, as if it was never touched.

There is nothing in life that is certain except for the fact that if this is being read a birth took place. If a birth took place, a person was born, and the fact that a person was born means that someday there will be a death (and the payment of taxes in the by-going!). It may not be something anyone dwells on much but it is true. Apart from those two facts nothing is certain. Not the economy; not relationships; not possessions; not your job. Nothing.

It is a desire for certainty in life that leads many to strive for some assurance, for something to ‘hang their hat on’. Hence the desire for plans, budgets, for exactitude in anything and everything. But, by definition, a process can never have certain results. In a process there are variables and reliance on anything or anyone (even yourself) is a gamble – sometime it comes off, sometimes it doesn’t.

To get round the problem of life's inability to provide any certainty many people give up and simply conform to society’s ‘norms’. They ignore, or most likely forget, the process. This presents a paradox. To conform means to go with the rest. But to go with the rest means to lose your identity. By conforming with what others consider normal behaviour you give up a great deal, and risks becoming a dumbed down version of who you really are. It means approval by others to be part of the ‘team’. It means being considered as one of the ‘boys’ or ‘girls’. It means being led by others; to do what the majority do; to think the way the majority think, whether or not this is a comfortable situation. Behaviour is adjusted to the accepted needs of the group, or other person or persons in the pursuit of a common aim or aims.

Is this really a natural choice? Each of us is an individual, with our own hopes and aspirations and to be quite frank doing what others suggest or direct, is not going to help anyone develop as a human being or to lead a fulfilling life. Trying to do so is stressful. It may be ok for a while, but deep down there will always be that, ‘what if ...?’

The answer is in establishing your values; that set of core beliefs that form your character and cannot be transgressed without long term angst and discomfort. This not always easily done, because of the afore-mentioned desire, or requirement to conform. To stand out from the crowd takes courage and possible vilification; certainly some hard words will be said and heard. It is necessary though for long term harmony in life. Don’t stand still! Be who you really are.





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Dave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website

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Andrew Campbell-Watt
(Visit Andrew's Website) Andrew Campbell-Watt is a Life Coach. During the journey of his life he has picked up a Bachelor of Commerce degree and a Post Graduate Diploma in Business. Along the way he has also gathered a life time of study and practical experience in moral philosophy,ethics and stress management. These he has applied in his forty odd years in business, for himself and as an employee. He has since found increasing need to use his special skills in helping people through the emotional turmoil of retirement and the many attendant issues. His wide experience in a variety of industries give him a unique platform to reach out and help anyone who has difficulty in finding peace of mind and some measure in their life, in what is an increasingly complex and anxious world.

Andrew Campbell-Watt is a Gold author on EvanCarmichael.com
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Ethics and Life - Written by Andrew Campbell-Watt. I have a B.Comm,a Post Graduate diploma in Business and I am a qualified Life Coach.With some 45 years of business and life experiences I have much to offer anyone who needs guidance or advice in Ethics, Life Coaching and/or Stress Management
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