Be strong and of good purpose within yourself. This is the key to a happy and stress free life.
Working from a firm base is essential, and this is not just a good business plan, or excellent marketing, or fantastic products, or exponential sale growth. It is about you!!
Is your base sound and solid?
Whatever job you are doing now, do you like it?
Is it something you look forward to every day?
(As a true but admittedly extreme example, the author of this article worked for twenty seven years in the role as an accountant before waking up to the fact that not only did he not like accountancy, he was in fact not very good at it. A role was being played that did not suit the values, the personality or the inclination of the “player”. There was almost a complete lack of congruency between the author’s values and the work being done. For twenty seven years there was a build up of stress which resulted in a distinct lack of work/life harmony).
It has to be remembered that a person’s worth is not how much they have, or even what they have made or done, but who they are.
So how do you find out who you are? To do this it is necessary to determine the set of values that are used to guide each person in their every day dealings with the world. Unless these are recognised a person’s full potential as a human being will never be realised and frustration will result.
Anyone who finds themselves in this situation needs to re-evaluate their lives and understand the importance of their relationships and particularly their relationship with themselves. And how does one know if they are in such a situation? Read through the following (very abbreviated) list and see which (if any) apply:
Do you feel that you are capable of more than you are accomplishing because you believe others are holding you back?
Do you feel stuck in a rut and not getting what you would naturally choose?
Are you bitter about how your life has turned out?
Are you bored with yourself?
Do you feel alone and afraid?
Are you living in a “comfort zone” that offers no challenge and too little of what you do want and too much of what you don’t want?
Are you living with lingering guilt or frustration?
Do you try to avoid internal feelings – don’t like showing your “true” colours?
Do you hate yourself?
If any apply don’t despair. All is not lost! Everyone has within them all they need to correct any imbalance; to remove any blockages to reaching their full potential.
Life is a journey of discovery and the greatest discovery of all is becoming aware of and developing one’s own potential. Like a thumb print each person is unique. There is no one like us in the world. We each have our purpose for being born and our place in the great scheme of things. Our true nature needs to express itself in the best way possible, and this can only be determined by our relationships with those around us. And the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. If someone is not happy within themselves, then any happiness felt (however defined) will prove to be illusory. The author’s case (mentioned above) is a perfect example – no matter what he did, where he and his family lived, what car he owned or what other possessions he had, there was a level of dissatisfaction that would not be alleviated by anything external. Changes had to be made by the author himself, within himself.
In truth, in any situation, we are at least three people – firstly, the person we think we are; secondly, the person others think we are; and finally, the person we really are. The first two of these depend on the role we are playing at the time, and we are all role players. In other words it is the way we relate to people. Then there is our true “self” which is determined by our set of values; our natural “fall back” position when dealing with any given situation. In other words how we relate to ourselves.
The basis of all relationships is ethics. Ethics should be considered as a set of principles by which to live; a code of conduct for our relationships with all whom we come in contact.
Ethics is difficult to define but the Roman Emperor Justinian’s (527 to 565 AD) version is as good as any - that people should all “live honestly, hurting nobody and rendering to everyone their due”. This is similar to the Golden Rule – treat others the way you would like to be treated.
It is therefore a matter of choice. To be ethical and treat people the way we would like to be treated, or choose not to treat them that way. We make the choice; we have therefore to bear and accept whatever consequences result – good or bad, favourable or unfavourable. Our true nature is always “disclosed” when push comes to shove and we are caught in the spotlight of a choice, and all choices involve ethics.
Consider this interesting little piece from TIME MAGAZINE: 8th July 2002, in an article about WorldCom’s dubious accounting practices and subsequent multi-billion US dollar collapse:
“And then this: A survey by Starwood Hotels & Resorts showed that 82% of CEOs admit to cheating at golf. The same percentage hate others who do the same.”
No comment!
To be ethical means to be true to oneself – to be honest, just, kind, compassionate, generous, and to be measured (show no excess) in dealing with people or with ourselves. In this way we may all maintain a balance and live stress free and contented lives.
Events happen, things occur, situations arise – this is life. But how we react, how we interpret them is the important part.
Finally, and to answer any questions about what the author did to sort out his life, he applied Life Coaching 101 and wrote a letter - from an imaginary friend to an imaginary acquaintance, describing “Andrew” to the acquaintance, warts and all. Difficult, but definitely worth the effort. Try it.
Find your true nature and live harmoniously - To learn more about this author, visit Andrew Campbell-Watt's Website.
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