Someone recently wrote me asking whether she should take a high paying job she didn't love, or a lower paying job she had more hopes of enjoying.
I had just finished an email to a client who was torn between choosing to pursue a relationship with a great girl or follow through on a long held dream to travel the globe footloose and fancy free.
At the same time, an old friend is struggling with a decision to continue supporting her drug-addicted daughter or to practice "tough love" and write her out of her life.
It struck me how easily we believe we have to choose, or compromise what we truly want. What if we could have our cake AND eat it, too? What if we could have the best of each scenario all rolled into one?
My favorite way to open to that "what if" possibility (where we enjoy the best of both worlds) is to:
- Remember that everything is possible - all I have to do is dare to imagine it.
- Write down a list of pros for the different options I'm struggling to choose between.
- Once I've got my list of pros for each alternative, I then combine them into one list and turn that comprehensive "pro" list over to higher power (mine's called Universe) to work with.
For example: If my boyfriend said we either buy a house and move in together or we're done (which he did, two years ago) and I was torn because while I wanted to continue a relationship with him, I didn't want to give up my home or my independence - the process might look like this for me:
Living together PROs
- Our relationship continues to evolve to new levels of intimacy
- I cross a new relationship frontier
- Two people to run the household
- Co-habitation could be more efficient
- The cats would like another lap to sit in
Breaking up PROs
- I get to keep my independence
- I get to keep my house that I love and adore so much
- I get to continue living next to fabulous neighbors
- I get to meet new men
- I get to continue focusing on my business
Okay, so what if all of those "best of" items were possible with ONE alternative? Wouldn't that be the one to go with?
By knowing it is totally possible for me to have the best of all worlds, that helped me dare to imagine what it might look like to have all those positive outcomes in one choice.
Which is what led to our buying a beautiful home together where our relationship continues to evolve as we jointly run this household. (He cooks and does laundry!) I enjoy the financial and emotional benefits of successfully living with someone I love. I kept my other house and happily rent it out to appreciative people. I stay in touch with old neighbors and now have even more amazing neighbors! I continue to meet amazing new people (without dating them) while maintaining a strong focus on my business and my independence remains fully intact!
This is a magical Universe we experience when we drop the constraints of beliefs that limit our full enjoyment of life!
So this is my official invitation to YOU to identify where you believed in sacrifice, compromise or settling and instead invite Universe to deliver ALL the goods to you, simply by believing it is possible to enjoy the best of both worlds.