Tweet

Top 10 Tips for Coaching Parents of a Contrary Kid

Guest post by: Caron Goode

Article Overview: One of most frustrating stages of toddlerhood can be when a child learns to master the word “no.”

Top 10 Tips for Coaching Parents of a Contrary Kid

Between the ages of 15 and 30 months, a toddler begins to realize that he is a separate person from his parents; a person who has his own will and his own mind. As this realization sets in, a child begins to discover his independence and begins to practice asserting this independence to all who will listen. It’s this stage of development that is usually marked by a child singing a seemingly continuous chorus of a loud and proud “no.”

Although on the surface it may seem that the child is being defiant and difficult, a young child who is constantly saying “no” is in a monumental phase of early childhood development. When parents aren’t coached to recognize this stage for what it is, the result can be frequent power struggles between parent and child.

While it’s important for a child to understand that the parent is the person of authority, it’s also important to let a child engage in self discovery by allowing him to assert his feelings and to learn that it can be okay to say no. At this stage of development, when vocabulary is limited, a toddler often doesn’t have other expressions to show his displeasure, so inevitably “no” becomes his simple favorite.

Coaching parents through this natural and important stage of development can help them deal with the frustrations that can come when regardless of what they ask their child, the response that they get is an unmistakable “no.”

So how can coaches help parents navigate this important developmental stage? Try coaching parents to use these top 10 techniques for coaching kids through the contrary stage:

1. Give the child two choices that you can live with. This is a time when the child is learning to make choices and you can help by giving him limited choices that won’t overwhelm him. Instead of asking the child if they want cereal for breakfast, ask if they want Cheerios or Rice Crispies.

2. Offer the child choices, but if he doesn’t make a choice, let him know that you will make the choice for him. Instead of asking the child to get dressed, ask if he wants to put on his shirt or pants first. If he doesn’t choose, choose for him and help him get dressed. This provides an opportunity for self discovery balanced with parental authority. Your goal is to convey the message that the choice you make is yours, but making a choice is not optional.

3. Set limits. Toddlerhood can be a time of testing. Kids will push the boundaries and say no as long as they are allowed to.

4. Limit your use of no. Look for alternative ways that convey no. This will help to build your child’s vocabulary and can squelch the theory that children say what they hear. Instead of saying “No hitting” opt for alternatives like “We don’t hit” or “Hands aren’t for hitting.”

5. Pick your battles. It’s a good thing when a child feels that it is safe to say no, so when it’s reasonably acceptable, allow his no to stand. Perhaps he doesn’t want a midday snack. Don’t fight about it. Let him learn about making choices and living with the consequences of his choices.

6. Don’t laugh when a child says no. As cute as it may be the first time, resist the urge to laugh. It only reinforces the behavior.

7. Avoid giving the child the opportunity to say no. If you need your child to get his shoes, suggest a race to the door. Sometimes it just takes a bit of creative thought to get your child to cooperate. Offering limited choices also takes away the opportunity to say no.

8. Use diversion. Having a childproofed house and anticipating any opportunities where your child may say no can go a long way in limiting the amount of “no’s” that you hear from your child. You won’t have to tell him “Put the vase down” if it’s not on the table.

9. Use distraction. Children under 2 can be easily distracted. If they are playing with an item that you want them to give up, offer an alternative. If you’re trying to get an uncooperative kid out of the house, give him something to investigate outside so he’ll come along.

10. Keep a positive attitude. Remember this phase is temporary. Look at this stage as an intense time of development and help your child maximize his learning experience.

While it can be frustrating for parents who are dealing with a child in the “no” phase, when parents are educated and coached through this stage of development, frustrations can be limited and parents can help their children continue to develop healthy, whole and developmentally on track.

Related Articles
  What Communication Habit(s) are you Addicted to?
  Secrets to Filling your Coaching Practice
  Empower your Sales people with the right Sales Coaching Process!
  Are Children Good Closers In Sales?
  The role of kids in their first cell phone purchase decision making process
  3 Steps to Creating Your First Product
  How Playing the Numbers Game Can Turn Into Relationship Building
  Prom and Underage Drinking: A Parent's Guide to Keeping Kids Safe
  Ten Top Business Tips From Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
  Would you benefit from someone really being there for you?
  Doing Something Right Once
  THE ART OF THINKING
  Self esteem Workout
  Assuming You Know THE Answer Can Limit You
  Recognizing Genius: Rubber Bands and Dresser Drawers
  Sales Coaching Tips
  So what differentiates a Life Coach from a Business Coach from an Executive Coach?
  Handle Tough Questions
  8 Things that can lead you to start a Coaching Business
  Sales Team Transformation thru Coaching

Article Tags:
Referred by: http://www.magicmarketingusa.com



Related Forum Posts
Business Tips - How about: Tips for managers to handle employees more effectively? Tips on how to deal with difficult customers? Tips on how to deal more effectively with suppliers? The only three I have in mind right now, but will try to come up with something else. Chris
Re: When did your entrepreneurism start? - [quote="OmnivoreInk":35vioft3]I'm not sure... it depends what they're selling.[/quote:35vioft3] Ah yes, indeed! [quote="OmnivoreInk":35vioft3]But kids certainly do need to be taught early the value of money, the value of saving, and the value of investing.[/quote:35vioft3] Yes. Sadly, that's not likely to be taught in school, is it? Parents need to do that...
Re: How To Raise a Future Millionaire - [quote="BuzzAroundBooks":3hs0vbuu]Hi Andy, Interesting article. It's easy to say that all parents should support their children's entrepreneurial ventures, but what happens if it's getting in the way of their education? Not to say that a person needs to go to school to become successful and earn a good living (as proven by many entrepreneurs), but what would you say to your child if he/she was doing so well with his/her small business that he/she no longer wanted to finish school and just drop out?[/quote:3hs0vbuu] I personally feel like Parents should be heavily involved with instructing/educating their children themselves....This will increase the chances that they are successful. And you as a parent will know that the education process never stops even after graduation.
Re: Using Craigslist SEO to Promote Your Website - Great Craiglist Tips for driving traffic. I can definitely use these to drive traffic to my blog.
Re: need pricing help please - here's my opinion that was derived from the person I heard it from (Russell Brunson) I view internet Marketing products as a Ladder. At the bottom of the Ladder is ebooks and at the top is One on One Coaching. so the ladder would look like this starting from the Top ($$$) to Bottom($) One-to-One Coaching ($$$$$$) Workshops ($$$$$) Teleseminars ($$$$) Video($$$) Audio ($$) ebooks ($) I agree with this methodology mainly because of the convenience factor and value from the customers point of view.


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

The Value of Small Businesses

Time management for DIY PR

Top 7 Tips to Real Estate Agents’ Success

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.