DO YOU NEED A RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY?

In fact, if you are between relationships and want to attract 
true love, having a fabulous single life is just the thing to do. 
The mere statement that you are between relationships 
suggests that you KNOW that the next one is around the 
corner. 

Being happy makes you a love magnet - you will attract LOVE 
into your life. 

Here are 5 Ps to illustrate ways to be Happily Single. I should 
know ☺ 

PEOPLE 

Build a strong network of people who are there for you, people 
who care about you and your life. 

Often, singles feel lonely and disconnected, 
which affects their day to day lives. They believe that the only 
way to get their emotional needs met is through a partner. Yet 
so many other people in your life can meet many of your 
needs. 
The more your needs get met, the less needy and the more 
attractive you become. Also, the more your needs get met, the 
less you need a partner. Needing a partner is a sure fire way 
to never finding one! 
Expecting a partner, one other human being to fulfill all your 
needs is also putting too much pressure on the one 
relationship. We all need to have a group of people who fulfill 
different needs for us. 

Look for clubs, groups or classes around subjects that interest 
you. Rekindle relationships by reaching out to people already 
in your life. Friends and relatives are a good place to start. 
Seek out how you can contribute to their lives, instead of 
wondering what they can give you. 


PLEASURE 


Think of the last times you smiled and felt blissful. Think of 
how good you felt after doing something nurturing and 
pleasurable. 

Many of us singles do without pleasure and self-care and focus 
all our energy on our work. It is as if we ourselves don't 
matter; only our accomplishments do. Some of us tell 
ourselves that when we find someone, it will all change, so we 
decide that we will make time for pleasure with that someone, 
but what about now for ourselves? 

Think of adding luxurious, pleasurable things to 
your day. These don't have to be huge and expensive, 
perhaps a short drive, a few minutes reading a book, a nap, a 
cream or cologne that smells or feels good, a nice meal, 
listening to your favorite happy song. Mine is “I Can See 
Clearly Now” by Bob Marley. 

Pick three such things that you can do easily by remembering 
the last few times you felt truly in bliss. 
Or ask me how to make your very own Pleasure Lists. 
Some of you who have coached with me would already have a 
long list. 

Try this perspective for size. There are only two emotions that 
exist - Pleasure and Pain. Every other emotion we feel is a 
degree or a variation of Pleasure or Pain. 
When you are not “in pleasure”, you are “in pain” the absence 
of pleasure is pain. Does not sound so good does it? So, keep 
this in mind and see how many more hours a day you can be 
“in pleasure” rather than “in pain.” 

POWER OF NOW 

Are you still waiting to be in a relationship to live the kind of 
life you want and to do the things you love to do. Yet your life 
happens now, today. It is not a dress rehearsal for when you 
have a relationship. Read Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power Of Now”

When you want to do stuff, but stop yourself because you are 
single, you are doing a dishonor to yourself. On the other 
hand, living the life you want now enlivens and energizes 
you. It gives you a sense of well being and happiness. And 
living your life now also makes you very attractive! Remember 
that attraction is present even when it is not visible. Think of a 
magnet and its ability to draw to itself. Feel truly happy and 
start magnetizing! 
Read the late Lynn Grabhorn’s “Excuse Me, Your Life is 
Waiting” or Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret” to learn more about 
how the Law of Attraction truly works 

List the things you have not already done only because you 
have been waiting to do them with your next wife, girlfriend, 
husband, boyfriend, because you have been “saving” them to 
do later with the love of your life. I always wanted to ride on a 
hot-air balloon ideally with the man of my dreams, but the 
opportunity presented itself to take that soaring flight with a 
friend instead and I did! It was exhilarating! 

List them and pick a few that excite you the most and do them 
now. Don’t worry about “using them up” you can always do 
them again when you find that partner. 


PUT THE PAST IN THE PAST


We really have to let go of all past hurts and resentments. 

Some of us hold on to the past as a way of preventing the 
same thing from happening in the future. 

Others hold on because they don't know how to let go. Either 
way, the past drains your vital life energy. We worry that we 
will continue to have unhappy, unsuccessful relationships. 
Many believe that they will have to “settle for less” or risk 
dying single. 
It is these negative, self-doubting beliefs that attract more of 
what we don’t want. We will subconsciously attract the 
“wrong” type of people into our lives to help us act out our 
self-fulfilling prophecies. 

Learn how to let go. Read books, go to workshops and 
seminars, 
hire a therapist or a coach. Keep learning new ways to let go 
of the past, and then apply them to gaining more and more 
freedom. 
Trust and believe that only good things and people will come 
into your life! Be willing to trust and free-fall. What is the 
absolute worst that could happen? You could meet someone 
that is not appropriate, but remember that with every wrong 
person you do meet, you are learning and coming that one 
step closer to meeting the right one! 


PASSION & PURPOSE

Have a purpose for waking up in the morning. Have a vision of 
your place in the world and what you want to contribute to 
others. 

Rabbi Hillel: "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? 
And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, 
when?" 

Yes we have to be for ourselves, that was what all the other Ps 
was about, but a life’s purpose is about more than just 
ourselves. Only when we are giving and enhancing other lives 
in some way, will we be in line with our purpose and only 
when we are moving towards living our life’s purpose do we 
feel fulfilled and truly happy. 

Waiting for a relationship to infuse your life with passion and 
purpose is useless. A loving partner is not a substitute for a 
meaningful life. Single or attached, your life's purpose is your 
own, and will ignite you when you pursue it. You will know you 
have found it when you feel truly happy every morning. 

List things that light you up. What can you talk about for hours 
without losing steam? Whatever that may be, it is a part of 
your life purpose. Now get into action, if not now, when?