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Forgiveness - Letting go in order for you to be able to give again. Forgiving = For giving

Guest post by: Malti Bhojwani

Article Overview: It is a way of releasing yourself from the need for the person you feel hurt by to do anything to make you feel better. And there’s no requirement that you forget, but simply forgive, as in let go of the holding on of the pain, and the holding the other person responsible for your happiness. See them as having done the best they could, even if it was very worst for you. It was still the best they could do. And let go. See that you too did the best you could at the time. See my article - "How to let go and move on from regrets"

Forgiveness - Letting go in order for you to be able to give again. Forgiving = For giving

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.

It is a way of releasing yourself from the need for the person you feel hurt by to do anything to make you feel better.

And there’s no requirement that you forget, but simply forgive, as in let go of the holding on of the pain, and the holding the other person responsible for your happiness.

See them as having done the best they could, even if it was very worst for you. It was still the best they could do. And let go.

See that you too did the best you could at the time. See my article - "How to let go and move on from regrets" -

You will know that you have forgiven when yourbody is relaxed and your breathing is deep and easy. While you visualize the wrongdoer and say, "I accept you for who you are, with all of your best and worst. I no longer need you to change. I forgive you for myself, so that I can be free. I forgive you so that I can let go of resentments and feel love and joy in my heart, mind and body."

Your body will tell you if love and forgiveness are complete.

I read once that forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a better past. It's amazing that we could even spend time hoping that the past could be any different than what it was, because it's gone. It's done. In the words of Robert Frost, "no more to build on there."

Yet, we do it all the time. We linger in the past, thinking of the 'what ifs' and the 'if onlys'. Agonizing over the 'couldas' , 'wouldas' and shouldas'. And agony it is. For it's done. What's done is done. It cannot be otherwise. It cannot be changed. We are here now in this present moment and that's all we have.

Don’t berate yourself for what you could have done better or how you could have been more understanding. You’ve probably been terribly hurt but have also learnt a few valuable lessons about life and love in the process.

It’s tempting to dwell on what you did wrong or what you could have done differently. This might seem productive—like you can somehow change things by rehashing it. You can’t.

When you start revisiting the past in your head, pull yourself into the moment. Focus on the good things in your current situation.

Forgive yourself -

You might think you made the biggest mistake of your life, and if only you didn’t do it you wouldn’t be in pain right now. Don’t go down that road—there’s nothing good down there!

Instead, keep reminding yourself that you are human. You’re entitled to make mistakes; everyone does. And you will learn from them and use those lessons to improve your life.

I heard a great quote fromEckhart Tolleabout forgiveness that gave me pause:

"If her past were your past; her pain your pain; her level of consciousness your level of consciousness; you would think and act exactly as she does. With this realization comes forgiveness, compassion, peace."

There is profound wisdom for me in this. It is such a loving way to look at others and myself. May we all experience this empathy and compassion.

“Letting go is love. Holding on is attachment.”

Eventually you start accepting what happened and shift your focus from the past to the future.

You have to go through the feelings as they come, but you can help yourself get through them faster. For example, if you’re dwelling in guilt, make forgiving yourself a daily practice. Read books on it, meditate about it orwrite about it in a journal. My 2nd journal "Forgive, Embrace, Accept" in in the pipeline. Look out for it :)

When you let go, you give yourself peace.

Everything about holding on is torturous.

You regret, you feel ashamed and guilty, you rehash, you obsess—it’s all an exercise in suffering. The only way tofeel peaceis to quiet the thoughts that threaten it.

Letting goopens you up to new possibilities.

When you’re holding onto something, you’re less open to giving and receiving anything else.

If you had your arms wrapped around a huge bucket of water, you wouldn’t be able to give anything other than that bucket, or grab anything else that came your way. You might even struggle breathing because you’re clutching something so all-encompassing with so much effort.

You have to give to receive. Give love to get love, share joy to feel joy. It’s only possible if you’re open and receptive.

Related Articles
  Forgive Yourself and Others
  Success Through Forgiveness
  Make Peace With The Past So It Doesn’t Ruin The Present
  The Power of Forgiveness
  Forgiving yourself allows you to forgive others.
  Why to forgive yourself and others?
  Forgiveness: Is Holding On To Anger Holding You Back?
  Examples of Good Positive Affirmations
  You Can't Give What You Don't Have
  Is it finally time to forgive
  Anger Management Practice The gift of forgiveness
  Resentment
  The Cycle of Completion: Making Way for Success
  What Happened to Forgiveness?
  Using the "F" Word at Work
  Fast and Feast - Sales and Marketing Tactics
  Forgiveness is a Spiritual Necessity
  Coming to Terms With the Past
  Have a Forgiving Spirit
  Lesson #4: Mistakes are a Must on the Road to Success

Article Tags: break up, empowering, empowerment, forgive, forgiveness, forgiveness, happiness, let go, love, move on, pain, regrets, women



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