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How to develop the habit of having more EMPOWERING thoughts rather than Disempowering ones.

Guest post by: Malti Bhojwani

Article Overview: Watch your thoughts. Be like a sentry, a watchman noticing every thought you have... "all that we are is a result of what we have thought" Thinking is a habit. How we think is a habit. Habits take time and careful watching to replace. You can’t stop thinking a certain way, you just have to start thinking a new way. So how do we develop healthy thinking habits?

How to develop the habit of having more EMPOWERING thoughts rather than Disempowering ones.

If a friend spoke to us the way we think to ourselves – “How stupid! How stupid!”

“You never get it right”, “You always lose”, “God you look awful!”

Hmmm…..how long would you put up with a friend who spoke that way to you?

The first step to forming a habit of thinking in an “Empowering way” is to notice and become aware of the disempowering ways we have been thinking.

So, the first step is to watch your thoughts, like a sentry, like a watchman!

The first thought is usually a neutral thought. Right after that first thought comes the myriad of subsequent thoughts which are empowering or disempowering.

Examples of “first thoughts”

For a scuba-diver,

“I am running out of oxygen”

For a stock trader,

“The market is looking bearish”

For the girl standing at a bus stop,

"The bus is very late and it is getting dark"

What determines how we think?

They are our thinking filters.

A good analogy for these filters are sunglasses. If you are wearing purple lens glasses, everything you look at will have a purple hue. If you are wearing scratched sunglasses, everything you look at will have that scratch. If your sunnies are dirty and smudged, guess what? Everything you look at will have that smudge!

Some common disempowering thinking filters also known as “Cognitive distortions”:

Read through the list and be brutally honest with yourself. How often do you catch yourself thinking thoughts through these filters? Many of them do overlap.



1.All or nothing thinking (always/never black/white)

Is this true? Always?

2.Overgeneralization - stereotyping...

This is similar to the first one, all or nothing thinking. All men are….All mechanics are…. This is India….

3.Gloss over positve and magnify the negative. Disqualifying the positive.

“what a pretty dress!” nah….this is so old and ugly, I got it at the market…..this old thing? Nah…

4. Yeah but....cling to negative view ...

Yeah but...

Why don’t you go to the gym?

Yeah…..but all the people there are so weird….

Why don’t you get a job?

Yeah…..but who will want to hire me?

5.Jumping to conclusions.

In (NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming) we call it

“Mind reading” or “fortune telling”

Why hasn’t he called me yet? He does not like me!!!

She looked at me funny, she thinks I am stupid.

6.Magnification and minimalization-

“Awfulizing” the unpleasant information and “down playing” the positive.

7.Emotional reasoning-

Ignore facts and consider emotions as evidence rather than being objective.

8.Should statements -

Shoulding all over yourself! Self imposed expectations that lead to stress.

I should not….

I should…..

9.Labeling and Mislabeling

Caging people into roles that don't always apply. Defining people in a 1 dimensional view

10. Personalization

Sorry sorry. Always blaming self for everything.

“I am sorry, but can I have a glass of water”

Ask for a glass of water, why are you sorry?

Pick 3 that most apply to you.

These are just some examples of possible filters we use when processing thoughts.

Once we become aware or how disempowering some of these ways of thinking can e, so we can change them.

Negative thoughts pretend and attempt to protect us.

They prepare us for bad things.

Positive thinking however, help us

Feel good

Come up with solutions and create possibilities.

And they help us to avoid painful memories

When you notice yourself having a disempowering thought,

1) Distract yourself with anything. (Switch-flip as Lynn Grabhorn explains in her book “ Excuse me, your life is waiting”)

2) Dis-identify yourself from the thought. Imagine that the thought is outside of you and just like a movie running on a screen.

Clear the screen and play an empowering thought on purpose. Anything beautiful, positive, happy.

Practice. Practice and practice! Keep doing this and it will slowly become a habit!

3) Take a deep deep breath and say a positive and empowering mantra to yourself.

4) Spiritually, practicing kindness and compassion is a sure way to replace your disempowering thoughts.

5) Work with a coach so you have someone to support your while you identify your disempowering thinking habits and supports you while you get into the habit of deliberately thinking empowering thoughts more often than disempowering ones.

Derived from the concept which is the guiding principle behind cognitive therapy, a type of psychotherapy developed by psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck in the 1960s.

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Article Tags: empowering thoughts, habit, language, life coach, life coaching, nlp, sentry, watchman, wayso



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