Turn Grouchy Spiral to Happiness and Joy
Turn Grouchy Spiral to Happiness and Joy
Well, I've not yet experimented with blowing kisses, but I was in a situation last week where I had the opportunity to shift my own crabby energy. I was at the mechanic, waiting for my car. This was no fancy shop, to say the least. The waiting room and office was about 5 x 5 and the one place to sit was an old car bench probably pulled from a VW bus.
With no ride, I waited for my car there and tried to get some work done. The energy in the place was not at all inviting. The owner, a VW old-timer, gruff and crusty mechanic, was not particularly friendly, and did not take it well when I told him exactly what my car needed. In fact, he even began to puff out his chest a bit when he realized that he had ordered parts for the wrong engine. He denied it, insisted he was right...and well, you see where this is going. I sat in that space, waiting for my car, and could feel myself getting really grouchy too. I thought, "This is the last time I'm coming to this place... the environment feels semi-hostile... and who cares if they are VW specialists..." My internal grumble monsters got deeper and deeper, and soon they'd be ruining my morning.
I caught myself at that point, realizing that I did not have to run deeper into the rabbit hole with my grouchiness. I remembered that I am not a ‘Reaction Machine'. I can decide and control how I feel and how I react. I took a deep breathe and decided to turn it around. In a super friendly tone, I said, "So Joe, do you have any big, fun plans for the weekend?" And lo and behold, he smiled and spoke to me as a friend! He shared with me that he did, but that he'd just totaled his car the day before, so he wasn't sure if he was going to feel up to the big poker game this weekend after all. With my friendly entry way, the energy completely shifted! We talked about his wreck, his insurance concerns, we laughed, we cried...well not really, but again, you get the picture.
It was as if a dark cloud of negative electric energy completely dissipated and a light bright energy filled the space in its place. And not only did the energy change, but it also reminded me that you never really know what is going on for other people that may be affecting their own reactions to things. After totaling his car, Joe may have had reason to be grumpy! I was forming my own judgments just from external components, but as soon as we added friendly communication to the mix, everything changed. We both became more human to each other. Perhaps most importantly from my perspective, my own negative energy cleared, simply with my decision to engage him on that level.
I tell my yoga students often how our yoga practice reminds us that we get to choose. We choose how we react, how we respond. We can use our breathing as a tool to create space between us and our emotional responses, and in that way have a much more thoughtful response rather than an emotionally charged one. It's a reminder of how much control we actually do have in situations where we don't necessarily recognize that in the first place.
ASSIGNMENT: The next time you find yourself heading in to grumpy land, do something to shift the energy. Ask the person you are really frustrated with about their weekend plans, or about their kids, or blow a kiss to the person in the car next to you!
Turn Grouchy Spiral to Happiness and Joy - To learn more about this author, visit Sandy Kingsley's Website.
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Have you ever noticed how negative energies feed off each other? If that is true, then it must be true too that positive energies can do the same. I am reminded of a friend who enjoys blowing kisses to random strangers in other cars while stopped at red lights. She does it just to see the surprise and smiles on the recipients' faces. It takes them out of their own head, to share a moment with a "neighbor." It makes me laugh just thinking of her doing it, and the reaction that must follow.
Well, I've not yet experimented with blowing kisses, but I was in a situation last week where I had the opportunity to shift my own crabby energy. I was at the mechanic, waiting for my car. This was no fancy shop, to say the least. The waiting room and office was about 5 x 5 and the one place to sit was an old car bench probably pulled from a VW bus.
With no ride, I waited for my car there and tried to get some work done. The energy in the place was not at all inviting. The owner, a VW old-timer, gruff and crusty mechanic, was not particularly friendly, and did not take it well when I told him exactly what my car needed. In fact, he even began to puff out his chest a bit when he realized that he had ordered parts for the wrong engine. He denied it, insisted he was right...and well, you see where this is going. I sat in that space, waiting for my car, and could feel myself getting really grouchy too. I thought, "This is the last time I'm coming to this place... the environment feels semi-hostile... and who cares if they are VW specialists..." My internal grumble monsters got deeper and deeper, and soon they'd be ruining my morning.
I caught myself at that point, realizing that I did not have to run deeper into the rabbit hole with my grouchiness. I remembered that I am not a ‘Reaction Machine'. I can decide and control how I feel and how I react. I took a deep breathe and decided to turn it around. In a super friendly tone, I said, "So Joe, do you have any big, fun plans for the weekend?" And lo and behold, he smiled and spoke to me as a friend! He shared with me that he did, but that he'd just totaled his car the day before, so he wasn't sure if he was going to feel up to the big poker game this weekend after all. With my friendly entry way, the energy completely shifted! We talked about his wreck, his insurance concerns, we laughed, we cried...well not really, but again, you get the picture.
It was as if a dark cloud of negative electric energy completely dissipated and a light bright energy filled the space in its place. And not only did the energy change, but it also reminded me that you never really know what is going on for other people that may be affecting their own reactions to things. After totaling his car, Joe may have had reason to be grumpy! I was forming my own judgments just from external components, but as soon as we added friendly communication to the mix, everything changed. We both became more human to each other. Perhaps most importantly from my perspective, my own negative energy cleared, simply with my decision to engage him on that level.
I tell my yoga students often how our yoga practice reminds us that we get to choose. We choose how we react, how we respond. We can use our breathing as a tool to create space between us and our emotional responses, and in that way have a much more thoughtful response rather than an emotionally charged one. It's a reminder of how much control we actually do have in situations where we don't necessarily recognize that in the first place.
ASSIGNMENT: The next time you find yourself heading in to grumpy land, do something to shift the energy. Ask the person you are really frustrated with about their weekend plans, or about their kids, or blow a kiss to the person in the car next to you!
Turn Grouchy Spiral to Happiness and Joy - To learn more about this author, visit Sandy Kingsley's Website.
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