Tweet

Nothing Has Meaning Without Love and Connection

Guest post by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Article Overview: Discover a major cause of depression and how you can begin to heal it - today!

Nothing Has Meaning Without Love and Connection

Gretchen is typical of many of the clients that I work with. In our first session she said:

I've been depressed on and off throughout my life. Medication helped for a while, but now all it does is make me feel more flat and empty. Life seems to have no meaning for me. Nothing looks beautiful. Nothing is compelling to me. I can't think of anything I really want to do. I've tried many forms of therapy but nothing has worked to heal my depression. I don't know why I'm here on this planet. What is it all about?

Most therapies do not deal with the underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Lila, a member of the Inner Bonding® website, shared this about her healing process:

I must’ve gone through dozens of therapists since my first one at 17. Several were even psychiatrists. And they helped ... but not in an all-the-way-to-the-very-bone way…. I kept working to treat specific problems, but still felt incomplete once they were solved…. it’s because my inner child needed much, much more than that. She needed unconditional love from me-something traditional therapy somehow couldn’t quite provide….Lately, whenever I think about logical, strategic cognitive behavioral therapy, its techniques and tools, my inner child rebels intensely…..self-love comes first; filling up from within comes first. Regardless of my social status, my financial status, my career status, my marital status, without self-love, I have nothing if I don’t have that…. I know that because of Inner Bonding, I will eventually be able to live a normal life….Meditating with a conscious intent to love myself and Inner Bonding with the same intent is becoming my way of learning to love myself unconditionally-regardless of how other people react to me. And I can see that in loving myself, I will also automatically become more loving toward others too.

I started my work with Gretchen with an Inner Bonding process:

"Gretchen, please tune into what you are feeling right now."

"Sad. Empty. Depressed. Pretty much like I feel most of the time."

"Please breathe into these feelings, getting fully present with them….Can you find a place within you that wants responsibility for being the cause of these feelings?"

"Are you saying that I might be causing these feelings?"

"Yes, you might be. If you are, are you willing to find out what you might be thinking and how you might be treating yourself that is causing them?"

"Well, yes, I am!"

"Your feelings are an inner guidance system. Imagine that your feelings are a child within, letting you know each moment whether you are taking loving care of her, or abandoning her. Now, breathe into your heart, and open to curiosity about what you might be telling yourself or how you might be treating yourself that is causing your inner little girl to feel sad, empty, and depressed. Then focus inside again and allow the feelings to answer."

Child Gretchen: "All you do is judge me, all the time. You are always telling me that I'm not good enough, that I didn't do something right, and that I'm stupid."

Adult Gretchen: "Oh my God! I do this all the time, just like my mother did!"

"And what did you want from your mother?"

"I wanted her to hold me, to care about my feelings, to be kind and gentle with me."

"Isn't this exactly what your inner child wants from you?"

"Yes! But I never thought that this is something I could give to myself. I thought it had to come from someone else."

"Gretchen, do you have any kind of spiritual connection?"

"I believe in God, if that's what you mean."

"Can you talk with God and also hear God talking with you?"

"I don’t know. I've just prayed to God, but I never tried talking to God or listening to God."

"Try it now. Ask God 'What is the first thing I need to start to do to begin to take loving care of my little girl?"

"…………..God says to stop judging her - that she is a wonderful little girl and doesn’t deserve to ever be judged by me. God is showing me as a little girl - I was so sweet!"

"How do you feel right now?"

"Good! I feel good! I feel alive!

Gretchen started to diligently practice Inner Bonding and within a short time, was consistently taking loving care of herself. Life took on new meaning, aliveness and passion for her as she learned to love herself and share her love with others.

Related Articles
  Who Are You Talking To?
  Marketing With Love?
  Needs vs. Neediness
  What would your sales-role and business be like with less fear?
  The Many Faces of Love
  Home Business Expert: Establishing A Connection
  The Power of Love
  How To Set Goals
  Relationships and Emotional Connection
  Healing the Need for Others' Approval
  Several Ways to Increase the Range and Reliability of Your Wireless Router Connection
  EXPRESS YOUR LOVE!
  Happiness
  Digging Yourself Out Of A Deep Hole Of Fear, Lack and Struggle
  Coming From Love
  Ode to Words
  Spirituality - The Hub of Our Daily Life
  One Sentence to Establish Immediate Rapport
  Four Surprising Things That Will Grow Your Network (and Net-Worth) Now, from Tahl Raz?
  Affirmations for Peace and Life Balance 2

Article Tags: anxiety, depression, God, Inner Bonding, inner child, love, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, psychotherapy, selfjudgment, selflove, spiritual connection, spirituality



Related Forum Posts
Re: Quote of the Day - Oprah - Love it - thanks GT!
Re: Quote of the Day - "Failure is a word I don't accept." - Joh - Love that one - thanks GT!
Re: That First Customer! - Hey Tristan, Another thing to consider is to think about how targeted your visitors are. Meaning, are they actually looking for what you have to offer, and if so, are they finding it. Proper keyword research and testing will help you bring in targeted leads from the search engines. I think this will help you get that first customer and keep bringing in more and more customers.
Re: Quote of the Day - "It's not what we do once in a while that - Love it - thanks for sharing GT!
Re: The best time to do something is between yesterday and tomor - Love it Yinka!


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Leader's Success Secret: Celebration

Setting Goals for your Home Based Business

Web Design in 30 Minutes - Can this be Right?

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.