Life Events That Cause Stress

Life Events - The Journal Of Psychometric Research published an adaptation of two doctors Holmes-Rahe rating scale (vol 2 No 2 1967) . This allocates points according to events that came into our lives often associated with change 43 areas in total you can see a summary on the screen   The idea is if you build up too many points, too many life changing events, you will suffer the ill effects of stress, about a hundred points would be normal.  Listen to the normal.  One hundred alone for the death of a spouse.  Seventy‑three for divorce  Sixty‑three death of a family member.  Fifty‑three personal illness, 47 fired at work.  Forty‑five just less than being fired for retirement. Change in finances 38 add that to a large mortgage 30 there's 68 for starters.

 Forty points for pregnancy, you see some of these things are good things but they bring change into our lives and therefore stress. 

 If you have had children or beginning or ending school you have known stress.  I remember with one of our children, for years in her teens she would come home from school quiet, most nights as we tucked her up she would talk about her churning stomach and her fear of tomorrow. Often she would ask do I have to go to school, could I have a day off tomorrow? We suspected bullying, but could never quite get to the bottom of it and we felt so powerless so helpless. You care so much for them. We spend all our lives protecting them but we can't always protect them that's stressful.

 Then another season occurs when they leave home. When each of ours left I found some days I would walk past that too tidy bedroom and it would catch me out and I might even shed a tear.  These should be joyful days, we've done our tasks as parents, gone, flown the nest but it is stressful.

 Expectations of ourselves and expectations or demands of others can also create stress. These are often made more pronounced by goals & targets at work and at home. Especially if they feel beyond me.

 So all well and good you might say but what can I do? I understand that often I react to something as if it were flight or fight when in reality it was just the red light on the dashboard alerting me to an issue somewhere else. I feel like my brain does need a software upgrade to handle everyday events without flight or fight being the presenting option. Three keys tonight will begin our stress survival upgrade.                                                                                                                                          Slide