Pace The Race

My good friend Rob Parsons talks about the Pace The Race 

How much stress can we take? The answer is different for everyone but the truth is we can't keep piling on. Normally life doesn't say, do you mind if we add stress.  It just does it, normally there is not much you can do. Except. Sometimes you can Pace The Race.  This is a powerful tool. 

 Sometimes we can look ahead and say, that is going to be a stressful time let's plan the best we can. Most of us do it with some things e.g. the birth of our kids. Look at the Holmes Rahe scale 39 points for the birth of the child 38 points for the change in finances just for starters.  I've got lots of these things wrong. But like you probably we got one small thing right. Gill and I planned to make sure I was there for the birth of all four of our children. I only just made it for Chez our last, but I was there. We planned so that I could be there for a full week afterwards. We planned to make sure for the following months I had as few trips away as possible and we learned that it was possible to say No.

 With our four when we knew exams or car driving tests were coming up the reality was 'Yes I have got to earn a living' but we determined that I will be around more if possible.  If we were thinking of moving house we were not going to do it then.  We were not going to decorate then.  We are going to make life as easy as possible around that time.  In other words you pace the race. An interesting fact emerged in our learning and it was this if you have a reason it's quite easy to say No. My dad died some time ago. It was a hugely significant time for me as it is for all of us. I wanted to help nurse I wanted to be there I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to plan to be able to sleep in the same room for those last nights. These are moments when it is going to be a stressful time.  I am going to be sadder than I have ever been in the whole of my life.  I want to be available around that time if possible.  I am going to pace the race.

 Generals do it. Watch the news and hear General Patreus until recently head of coalition forces in Iraq. He will tell you we can't do everything. These are the resources we do have and this is how we will use them for now. Generals can't fight every battle with the same intensity, to them that's obvious. 

Athletes do it, they can't run every mile of the marathon with the same intensity. To them that's obvious. Lemmings don't do it.  Lemmings rush along and say, it will be all right when we get there.  As they go over the cliff they think, so far so good. You see, you and I are not superman or superwoman.  Sometimes when trauma comes into our lives we have to let other things go, you and I cannot say yes to the whole world. Where we can Let's plan to Pace The Race