Stress Defence Number 1 - Find a Mentor

Find a mentor

I had the privilege recently of addressing some of the top young business leaders men and women in Britain 350 of them. And I was tasked to give a keynote speech. And I found myself reflecting if I were their age what the three most valuable pieces of advice have been. And number one of the three was to find a mentor. More than almost anything else mentors in my life have been a source of development, direction challenge and stress relief.

Right now I have an informal life board. Three people from very different backgrounds who care about me, believe in me and are prepared to give me a thorough slapping if that's what it takes.

If I would give you one key above the others it would be this - find a mentor. I understand it's not easy - there are few of them around but I also understand that what we focus on, and seek for, we usually find. If we aim at nothing here, we will certainly achieve it. A business coach or a life coach is great, they can achieve some of these things and they do, but a mentor in my experience will achieve more.

It may be easier at least in the first instance to find a 'life-board'. These are respected people, folks you trust who you could meet with, say once every quarter or once every six months. They are there to challenge and sharpen, and give honest objective feedback on major questions and major decisions. I share my dreams and visions with them, and to some degree hold myself accountable. Almost certainly you will find such people more easily.

Some of you ladies in the home may not find this so either but two of my friends Chris and Ruth have found a simple alternative. With a handful of close friends they explore the same possibility they calls them Costa conversations. A set time to chat over a Latte or cappuccino, deep conversations, conversations that care, conversations that challenge, and conversations that can bring a perspective. When asked what is the major benefit of these relationships and stress my answer is simply this, they help us in the big scheme of things as well as with the small to catch challenge change - they give a perspective and they give a very real sense that we are not on our own.
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