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Caring for Aging Parents: How Do I Know the Right Thing to Do?

Guest post by: Barbara E. Friesner

Article Overview: I get asked this question a lot from my Generational Coaching clients: When making decisions for my aging parent, how do I know what is the right thing to do? The first question you will always ask is “What is in the best interest of my aging loved one”?

Caring for Aging Parents: How Do I Know the Right Thing to Do?

I get asked this question a lot from my Generational Coaching clients: When making decisions for my aging parent, how do I know what is the right thing to do? The first question you will always ask is "What is in the best interest of my aging loved one"?

Great way to figure out what is in the best interest of your loved one is by asking yourself these 2 questions (which are also your goals):

~ Will this solution make him/her safe (safer)?

~ Will this solution help maintain or improve his/her health?

(By the way, keep these 2 questions in mind because everything else that follows will be about providing these 2 goals.)

But what do you do when you have several solutions that are equally acceptable?

1) If your elderly parent is involved in the conversation, their preference should be the deciding factor.

2) If they're not a part of the conversation, then look at what was agreed upon with your sibs - which should have been established before getting started.

Some examples:

• The family member who puts in the most caregiving time should be the one to have the final say regarding caregiving decisions.

• The one handling all the finances should be the one to make all the financial decisions.

• No decision are made unless all family members agree.

(See the chapter on working with siblings in "The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System" for lots of other examples).

I've been wishing people a "happy new decade" because it's a dramatic thing to say. It was pointed out to me, however, that 2010 is not the start of a new decade. 2011 is. (Didn't we have this conversation in 1999?) (When I Googled "Is 2010 the start of a new decade", 37,100,000 results came up so there is a lot of discussion and everyone has an opinion!)

I have also spent a lot of time in the past few months trying to decide what I should call this year. Should it be "two thousand ten" or "twenty ten". (This must be a very important decision for me because when I say "a lot", I mean a lot! But then, what do you think about when you're cleaning?) Anyway . . . I have finally decided to use "two thousand ten" when I say it and "twenty ten" when I write it. I've found it is easier to write the correct year that way.

The reason I mention all this (because let's face it, there would need to be a pretty good reason to admit how weird I am!) is that there are often 2 ways to look at something. Some answers are obviously right. Some obviously wrong. Others not so much. The good news is that when you're making an eldercare decision, using these questions will bring the issue into focus and help you come up with the right decision.

Barbara Friesner

Generational Coach

AgeWiseLiving

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Article Tags: best interest, caregiving, caring for aging parents, conversation, dad, elder care, family, finances, generational coaching, making decisions, mom, stress



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