Recognizing the Clues to Your Aging Parents' Situation

Guest post by: Barbara E. Friesner
Become an Author

Free PDF Download
Elder Caregiving: How to Help Family Members with Denial - By Barbara E. Friesner

Singing Christmas carols, lighting Hanukkah candles, roasting chestnuts by a roaring fire - things most of us will be doing in the next few weeks. This is also the time of year when we see parents and other aging loved ones that we may not have the opportunity to see the rest of the year. Regardless of how often you talk by phone throughout the year, seeing a loved one in person tells you a lot more than phone calls alone can reveal. The clues are all around you if you know what to look for. And the best part is that you can look around without making it a big deal for you or for your elderly parent.

Here are some things to look for:

Overall:

Is your loved one clean and well groomed?

Is s/he properly dressed with clean clothes?

Has s/he gained or lost significant weight?

Is s/he walking well (eg: good balance and posture)?

Do you notice changes to his/her hearing, sight or speech.

Is s/he is more timid, apprehensive or withdrawn?

Do you notice a change in short term memory? Does s/he seem confused and/or lose her/his train of thought easily and/or often? Does s/he ask the same questions and/or tell the same stories over and over?

If you go to their home:

Has the neighborhood changed? Does it look safe?

Is the exterior of the house maintained?

Is the interior of the house neat, clean, and well maintained?

Is the refrigerator stocked with fresh (or at least edible) food?

Do you notice excessive clutter and things like piles of unopened mail, lots of sweepstakes offers, etc?

If the home has stairs, can s/he navigate the stairs safely or does it look like s/he is now living on the ground floor because of an inability to navigate the stairs?

What you see can run the gamut from "everything is fine" to "something is definitely wrong". If you see something critical or alarming, obviously you have to take action immediately. If you don't see anything out of the ordinary, then this is a great opportunity to deepen and strengthen the lines of communication.

However, if you see something - or even just sense something - that just doesn't "feel" right but you are not sure of the extent of the issue, you need to dig deeper. Use the opportunity to talk with your aging loved one face to face. Express your concern and gently ask questions about what you have observed.

With family gathered, this is a golden opportunity to get their input on the situation, too. In addition, as opportunities arise, discretely talk with your aging parent's friends and neighbors and see if they have noticed any changes and ask them to let you know if they do. For example:

"You see Mom more often that I do. How do you think she is doing? She seems a little more forgetful (distracted, frail, etc) than usual. Have you noticed it too? Have you noticed if she has been like this for a while? You know I worry about her so if you do see anything, would you please give me a call?"

And remember, if you are concerned that your elderly parent needs help now or may shortly and you don't know how to proceed, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Please call me toll-free (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation. I'm here to help!

Barbara Friesner

AgeWiseLiving LLC

Eldercare Issues Resolved by Choice, Not Crisis

The (Aging) Parent Trap

Basic Eldercare Realities

How to Begin the Conversation About Estate Planning

Elder Caregiving: Oy, The Guilt Already!

You Have the Right to Age...Grace-fully!

Are Children Good Closers In Sales?

Caring for Aging Parents: What's The Best That Could Happen?

Keepers

Transferring an Existing Domain Name

The role of kids in their first cell phone purchase decision making process

Elder Caregiving: How to Help Family Members with Denial

Blaming Others

When Your Parents Move in with You

GeneWize Life Sciences DNA-based Products

Simple Success Secrets

Why Employee Recognition Programs are Important (Tip #17)

Prom and Underage Drinking: A Parent's Guide to Keeping Kids Safe

How to Take Care of Yourself When You Become the Caregiver

A Problem with Today\\\\\\\'s Parenting

Effective Listening: Part 2

Home > Work-Life > Barbara E. Friesner > Recognizing the Clues to Your Aging Parents Situation > Google +

Free PDF Download
Elder Caregiving: How to Help Family Members with Denial - By Barbara E. Friesner

About the Author: Barbara E. Friesner

RSS for Barbara E.'s articles - Visit Barbara E.'s website
Senior Care Consultant, Barbara E. Friesner, creator of The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System, is an expert on issues affecting Seniors and their families. Barbara hosted her own radio talk show - Age Wise Living - on VoiceAmerica/Variety.com, and has been featured on NY1 TV's "Focus on Seniors", "Coping With Care giving" and on radio shows regarding senior care across the country.
In addition to her FREE weekly Senior care newsletter filled with tips for taking care of the elderly, Barbara is the Eldercare Expert and writes a monthly senior care guide column for the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. In addition, Barbara has been quoted in newspapers and magazines throughout the US.

For over 25 years as a senior care manager, first for her grandmother and for the past 17 years for her mother (with dementia), Barbara learned firsthand how overwhelming, stressful, and time consuming senior care can be. As a result, Barbara started AgeWiseLiving to help others navigate through this challenging time, and avoid the emotional and frustrating task of finding the answers themselves and trial-and-error implementation.

Barbara has collaborated with hundreds of family members who are providing senior care, professionals with Senior clients, and employees of Assisted Living communities to help them successfully build relationships and address critical senior care issues.

As an adjunct professor at Cornell University, Barbara created and taught "Seniors Housing Management" at the School of Hotel Administration. Prior to starting AgeWiseLiving, Barbara was the Director of Education & Development for Loews Corporation and Dean of Loews University. She received her Master of Business Administration from Boston University.

Click here to visit Barbara E.'s website.

More from Barbara E. Friesner
Helping Your Aging Parents Help Themselves Step One
Caring for Aging Parents Whats The Best That Could Happen
Helping Your Aging Parents Help Themselves Step Two
What Exactly Is A Generational Coach
Another Eldercare Issue Hoarding

Share this article. Fund someone's dream.

Share this post and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Recognizing the Clues to Your Aging Parents' Situation

Related Articles

Related Forum Posts

Share this article. Fund someone's dream.


Name:
Email: