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Practicing Assertiveness

Written by: Jacqueline Sinfield

Article Overview: Very early Sunday morning I was waiting in line at Montreal’s airport. Despite the early hour, the airport was crowded and the lines at each of the security points were the longest I had ever seen them. People were patiently waiting; however there was an older gentleman who became quite distressed as he realized he would miss his flight due to the slow movement of the line. He attracted the attention of one of the officials, however they merely shrugged unhelpfully. Then two European men in their mid 30’s went to the aid of the older man, they asked all the people in the queue ahead of him would they mind if he jumped ahead of them to catch his flight. Of course no one minded and the man went quickly through security.

Practicing Assertiveness

Very early Sunday morning I was waiting in line at Montreal's airport. Despite the early hour, the airport was crowded and the lines at each of the security points were the longest I had ever seen them. People were patiently waiting; however there was an older gentleman who became quite distressed as he realized he would miss his flight due to the slow movement of the line. He attracted the attention of one of the officials, however they merely shrugged unhelpfully. Then two European men in their mid 30's went to the aid of the older man, they asked all the people in the queue ahead of him would they mind if he jumped ahead of them to catch his flight. Of course no one minded and the man went quickly through security.

I was struck not only by the kindness of these men, but also how assertive they were on the other man's behalf. Being assertive is a good quality. It means standing up for what is important to you in a cool, calm and collected way.

We all have different levels of assertiveness, and they can vary within each person depending on the situation. Some people can be assertive looking after the needs of others but not their own. Some days you can be more assertive than others. Sometimes it's easier to be assertive when you are with a friend as you have moral support. Sometimes you can be assertive about a particular issue, but struggle in other areas.

Having ADHD can make being assertive harder. You might not know if it's "ok" to feel like this, whether it's an acceptable feeling, or if it's just you. You might feel you stand out already without drawing extra attention to yourself. Being shy also makes being assertive harder. The good news is that being assertive is like a muscle that you can develop and grow.

Having ADHD might mean you need to assert yourself more than other people. For example, a university student might need to talk to his professors to make sure his unique study needs are understood and met. A person in a new romantic relationship might need to explain how ADHD affects her to her new boyfriend, etc.

The benefit of being assertive is that life is more enjoyable and less stressful when you can rely on yourself to handle whatever comes your way.

So why not try the 30 Day Assertive Challenge?

The concept is simple. . . Every day assert yourself at least once.

The benefits will be huge. Start to notice how empowered you feel.

Here are some tips to help you:

1. Start with service providers. For example, if you order a large coffee and are given a small coffee, assert yourself and ask for your order to be changed. They are "easy" because it's their job to provide you with good service. Also, they aren't part of your day to day life so if you are worried that you will embarrass yourself (you won't but it's a common fear) knowing you won't see that person again helps to practice your assertiveness.
2. If you are shy join your local Toastmasters. It's a great way to learn to speak in front of people and be confident that you can be articulate when you need to think on the spot.
3. Think about the area or areas of your life you are already assertive. There will be at least one. This will help to give you confidence that you can be assertive as you grow your assertive muscle.
4. Notice and enjoy the benefits of the new, assertive you. You will no longer have to tolerate or "put up" with anything that annoys you. This leads to a much happier you.

Related Articles
  Develope your Assertiveness Training
  Assert Your Capabilities
  Assertiveness: You Can Do This!
  Facets of Assertiveness
  Assertiveness

Article Tags: adhd, assertiveness, calm, early sunday morning, european men, gentleman, kindness, montreal, moral support, older man, professors, queue, security points, struggle, waiting in line



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Re: Welcome New Moderators in Addition to Our Fine Team! - Thank you Ringo and Thank you to "THE TEAM" . . . . Thank you all for the warm reception!!! I am honored and I appreciate this opportunity very much. Congratulations to the other "new" Moderators.I am looking forward to "meeting" you all. I am a Brooklyn Boy and somtimes I trip over my Brooklyn upbringing. My Assertiveness and enthusiasm sometimes gets the best of me. If you ever feel I went to far (with anything) please feel free to let me have. I am a great "Beginner" and I learn fast. I'll take whatever you want to throw at me . . .GOOD OR BAD. I welcome the help and guidance. I need the help and guidance. I have over 30 years of experience starting and building large apparel manufacturing companies.My world is your world. Just ask. I want to Make a differnce . . . . . I have one objective : AS A TEAM, I WANT TO GROW OUR FORUM. With leaders like Evan and Ringo,our very special (current) moderators and the incredible members we have now, it should be a slam dunk to be able to achieve new levels of growth. Best wishes, Barry


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