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Improve Your Work Life Balance By Improving Your Work Wife Balance

Improve Your Work Life Balance By Improving Your Work Wife Balance

Why is it that so many people who have thriving careers in business seem to have terrible  family lives? One of the biggest sources of stress in couples and families arises from when one partner spends too much time and energy at work and not enough time and energy spent at home.

If not appropriately handled this work wife imbalance generally plays out with the wife (or stay at home partner) beginning to feel increasingly isolated, abandoned and ends up resenting the time the working partner spends at work. A common interpretation is that the working partner values their work more than their relationship and family. As a result the wife begins to withdraw affection and communication from the working partner and seeks greater connection through her circle of family and friends.

Best selling author of books like "Why Men Are The Way They Are", Dr. Warren Farrell explains that in these situations the working husband will often gravitate towards his work place, as it is a place where he gets recognition and praise. It is also a place where he sees that he is making a contribution of some sort. In an effort to seek praise and affection from their partner men tend to want to provide more. It is their way of showing love. In wanting to provide more they will often spend more time at work that serves only to exacerbate the problem.

So what can the stereotypical working male businessman do to help create a work life balance that is sufficient to support a successful career and a happy loving marriage and family life? Is there anything that the stay-at-home Mom can do to restore this imbalance between work and home life?

In sharing some solutions to this dilemma, I would like to point out that I am far from being a relationships counselor or the perfect husband. However, I am an astute observer. At times I have been personally challenged with this common scenario. I have witnessed many successful and unsuccessful relationships involving people in time-consuming and demanding jobs. I have come to the conclusion that it requires changes from both partners. It firstly requires bringing some gratitude and praise back into the relationship.

I hear you ask, "How am I meant to bring praise and gratitude back into the relationship?"

Well, you can start by appreciating that your partner is doing and communicating that to them in a way that they understand...

-When you arrive home from a long day at work and the kids haven't run away or set fire to the house, be grateful.

-If the house isn't a dirty hovel, be grateful.

-If you get a meal cooked, be very grateful.

-If your wife and family are home when you return, be very grateful. A lot of men in your situation have arrived home to an empty house with a note left for them.

-Genuinely uttering the words, "Thank you, "or "I appreciate all the work you have done," can reconnect hearts where there were once walls.

Don't think stay-at home partners are the innocent victims in all of this. You have been a big part of the problem and are therefore also a vital part of the solution.

When your partner comes home what can you be grateful for?

-How about thanking them for working so long and so hard to support you and the family? (There are plenty of husbands out there that are happy to sit on their backside and not have any job.)

-If you want your partner to spend more time at home, make the home an enjoyable place. Be happy to see your partner. If you forget how to greet your partner with enthusiasm, watch your young children greet them or watch how happy the dog is to see him. If the home is an enjoyable place the working partner will be trying their best to get home as soon as they can.

The other thing that can make a big difference to relationships in people with busy careers is for you to make it your responsibility to ensure that your partner gets to have some time to them doing whatever they want to do. My wife, Angela loves swimming and reading. When I make it my business to ensure that she gets to swim more regularly and have some time to herself she is more often than not a delight to be around.  And the funny thing is, even if I remind her about her swimming and she doesn't go I have found that it makes her feel happy that I have thought of her.

In return, she  began to ensure that I had time for myself to do my exercise or just sit down and watch the football on TV. With a bit of time to myself, I am a lot nicer to be around. 

Too many people with demanding and rewarding careers are often faced with the choice of career or relationships. By both partners showing appreciation and gratitude at home and at work you can enjoy both. Enjoying work and your life and family away from work is what they really mean when they talk about having a work life balance.





Improve Your Work Life Balance By Improving Your Work Wife Balance - To learn more about this author, visit Dr. Paul Lanthois's Website.

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Cheryl Matthynssens

Cheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur.  Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well.  A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles.  She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide-  to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being.  Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com

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George Ludwig
George Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website

Dave Kurlan
Dave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website

Leanne Hoagland-Smith
Are your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website

Joe Dager
Joe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website

Stephanie Robey
Stephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals.

She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com   Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences.  Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University.

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Jay Kubassek
(Jay's Full Bio: EvanCarmichael.com/jaykubassek)  In five years, Canadian-born entrepreneur Jay Kubassek went from selling mufflers at a Midas franchise to revolutionizing Internet marketing with the 2004 launch of CarbonCopyPRO, a online marketing education company, now worth over $20 million with customers in over 160 countries.

 

As an independent film producer, his upstart film fund Aliquot Films is currently producing a films with Spike Lee and Abel Fererra (starring Ethan Hawke and Dennis Hopper.)

 

Jay's entrepreneurial spirit is irrepressible. He’s the owner of five companies, a professional speaker and trainer, international real estate developer/investor, extreme sport enthusiast and emerging philanthropist. 

 

Jay resides in NYC with his wife Jamie, son Milo and dog Cooper.  Visit Jay's official website: www.JayKubassek.com - Visit Jay Kubassek's Website


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Dr. Paul Lanthois
(Visit Dr. Paul's Website) Dr. Paul Lanthois is a chiropractor, speaker and work life balance expert. He is the director of The Work Life Balance Foundation which provides health, stress management and work-life balance lifestyle programs specifically for businesses and their employees. Dr. Lanthois has been a successful Australian chiropractor for nearly 20 years. He has spoken to many business and community groups such as Optus Telecommunications, St. George Bank and the SA Police Force. For two years Dr. Lanthois was the coordinator of health management at Action Coach (formerly Action International) Billionaire in Trainingï¿ Entrepreneur seminars. His academic background consists of: - A Masters of Chiropractic at Macquarie University, Sydney, Australia. - A Post Graduate Diploma of Chiropractic Sport Science, Macquarie University. - A Bachelor Science (majoring in Anatomy and Physiology), University of Adelaide. He is a member of the American College of Sports Medicine and the International Foundation For Nutrition and Health. Perhaps his most important qualification is that he successfully overcame his own energy burnout while managing two companies and raising a family and has developed a step-by-step proprietary process to recharge the weary and re-ignite the burned-out. Dr. Lanthois new book : From Burnout To Balance In 4 Weeks: The Business Health Program To Boost Morale and Productivity is due to be released in November, 2009.

Dr. Paul Lanthois is a Platinum author on EvanCarmichael.com
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