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Happiness or Fulfillment?

Written by: David Bohl

Article Overview: We often hear someone say they're "happy and fulfilled" at a new job, with a new living situation, even as a new parent. And they surely are, or believe themselves to be, happy and fulfilled.

Happiness or Fulfillment?

We often hear someone say they're "happy and fulfilled" at a new job, with a new living situation, even as a new parent. And they surely are, or believe themselves to be, happy and fulfilled.

But I wonder sometimes what we mean by these terms.

Let's start with happy. Most people use the word "happy" to mean that nothing in their lives is making them "unhappy." Their lives are pleasurable. They have what they want, they like their lives, and they are, in a word, content.

That's great, really. Happiness is something we'd all like to have, and which we all strive for. It's also very elusive, because the pleasure which is the root of what we call "happiness" is usually transitory.

Let's look at Sarah for a moment. Sarah has just purchased a new car and is very happy. She loves her job, has a good relationship with her husband, and lives in a nice home. She is happy.

But what if a storm comes along, takes out the roof on the house - and drops it on Sarah's car? She's not going to be very happy, especially when her husband gets not just mad but spectacularly angry because if Sarah had parked the new car in the garage as he requested, the roof wouldn't have landed on it.

Now Sarah has gone from happy to unhappy, but chances are that state will change, probably very soon, because happiness is a transitory state, in the sense that most people use the word.

Let's look at Sarah's job, though. She says she is very personally fulfilled by her job. Sarah is a social worker, and primary therapist, at a state-run home for mentally challenged children who need round-the-clock care and whose parents were just not able to raise them at home.

Sarah's job is to make sure that these children remain as emotionally healthy as possible, considering their circumstances. This often involves trying to communicate with children who can communicate only at a very "young" level. When Sarah first took the job, she was overwhelmed by the needs and dependency of the children.

Now she feels there is nothing in the world she would rather do. She had considered going into private counseling, and at one point enrolled in a Ph.D. program, but later decided to stay with her current job. She could make much more money elsewhere, but she believes she has something to offer these children, and she stays because it is "a fulfilling job."

While this job does not necessarily make Sarah happy, in the sense of always being pleasurable, on a long-term basis being a social worker gives Sarah a deeper sense of having done something worthwhile and made a difference.

Happiness is good. You won't ever hear me argue that people should not strive to be happy. What you will hear me say is that we should recognize the difference, as our imaginary Sarah does, between happiness and fulfillment. Sarah knows the car is not gong to fulfill her deep needs to make a difference, but she loves to drive it. She also knows there will be days when she leaves work exhausted and even unhappy, but in the long run, she gets more out of her work than she puts in, and she's fulfilled.

Happiness and fulfillment both have a place in our lives, but they need to be balanced.

To find that balance in your own life:

• Spend some time thinking about what would really fulfill you and make you feel you are living toward a purpose.

• If you are not currently being fulfilled in your work and life, think about changes you could make that would help you feel fulfilled.

• Give yourself a "happiness lift" every week - do something you enjoy, or spend time with someone who makes you feel happy.

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  Reasons to Use an Order Fulfillment Service
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  12 Qualities of Happiness
  Pursuit of Happiness

Article Tags: happiness



Related Forum Posts
Re: The secret to happiness - Happiness comes from within. We choose whether we want to be happy or not. Circumstances can influence our feelings, but in the end, it's up to us how we deal with our circumstances, positively or negatively. I admire anyone who can stay strong and be happy through adversity. There will always be challenges that we face, but I believe that if we face them with our heads held high, the odds of overcoming them are much greater. This reminds me of the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness." Happiness spelled wrong for a reason. One of Will Smith's greatest movies. I encourage you all to watch it as it's very inspiring.
Re: The secret to happiness - Happiness is working on the job you love. I forgot who said this, "give a man the job he loves doing and he will ever work again in his life"
Re: The secret to happiness - [quote="barrysarner":2awy1urv]I agree and happiness is different for every individual.[/quote:2awy1urv] Happiness is something that comes from within each person it not something that we can find externally. Something from outside such as an exciting event or a new car can make us happy, but this is a fleeting emotion. True happiness is within each person if we choose to it over misery. MichelleJ
What is one of your favorite sales and marketing book? - One of my favorite sales and marketing book is called Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh. It tells a story of how a guy quit a high paying corporate job after graduating from Harvard in order to pursue a business dream, while working with a group of friends. They eventually built a business that is now worth over a billion dollars called Zappos.com. The entire books concept was on how to market a successful business. I enjoyed reading the book and learned a lot from it. What is one of your favorite marketing books?
Re: The secret to happiness - Hi members, This is a very interesting post and one of the best I have read. Human nature is strange and in many ways a misunderstood thing. A lot of people need help to be happy or content, I suppose that is why we have psychiatrists. I certainly agree with others that happiness is a state of mind, you can’t buy it in the shops but maybe shopping itself makes you happy. Some people are very affluent but are miserable, others may have low paid jobs but a stable and happy home life and would say that they have found happiness so it is definitely a state of mind, if you want to be miserable then you will be. Happiness is different for everybody, you could argue that money buys you happiness and for some yes it does, but for everybody, I don’t think so. There is an old saying which is something like ‘if you love what you do then you will never work a day in your life’ and for many of us here I suppose that would be working from home full time with a successful Internet business. My philosophy is that no matter where you live, what you do or how much you make, if you have your health, family and or friends around to support you in the ups as well as the downs then you are already well off and anything else you achieve is a bonus so you may as well be positive and approach all life’s challenges in that way. regards, Mal.


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