How to Get What You Want in Work and Life
How to Get What You Want in Work and Life
Why is this? How can a grown individual who has clearly "made it" in the traditional sense, hold the belief that they have no say in what happens to them? Is this an imagined perception? Or is it really true that other people are calling the shots while they sit there in passive acceptance?
The answer to this question is that if they're feeling it, then it's probably happening. It's not an uncommon feeling, by any means. And no, the situation is surely not a desirable one, but it's certainly something that can be worked through and overcome. Many have moved on to living a life that's in alignment with their values and beliefs. Many people have learned to navigate their own course. You can, too.
The majority of professionals, in fact, will express at least once in their lifetime, that their lives are governed by outside influences beyond their control - people, situations, events. It happens precisely BECAUSE they have adopted this passive attitude, and it's a dead-end mindset for sure. After all - the more one holds the belief that he has no influence on his own outcomes, the less likely he is apt to try and do something to improve the situation.
I was faced with a coaching challenge recently where my client could not see that the answers to her issues were inside of her and had been all along. When I challenged her to look beyond her perceived limitations and come up with an alternative plan of action to help herself, I was met with resistance. My client expected that I would make the decisions and supply the solutions for her. But that's not what coaching is all about.
Coaching, whether in the professional or the personal sense, is a co-creative, collaborative process where one is able to move past perceived limitations and learn to have a greater impact on what's happening around them and to them. When you work with a coach, you embark on a partnership that allows you to get to know your strengths more intimately as a means of becoming empowered to live your life the way you want, and not what someone else has prescribed for you.
Some tips on how to get beyond the mentality that you are nothing more than a passenger on the road of your own life:
• Instead of blaming others, begin to realize that you can influence outcomes and realize change through your own words and actions.
• Instead of saying "I can't" or "I don't know how," realize that the vast power lies within you. Open your mind to learning new things, mastering new skills, growing beyond what you know today.
• Instead of treating the past as a crutch that prevents you from moving forward in the future, take an inquisitive and analytical approach.
• Ask questions in everything you do. Why did this work for me before, but it's not working now? What changes can I make so that things will go the way I want?
• Accept disappointment as a temporary obstacle, not a crushing defeat.
• Appreciate your personal gifts - learn how to use your unique talents to your advantage.
• Recognize that the power to take decisive action on your own behalf is within you and has been all along.
• Realize that if you don't care for the way something is playing out, you can opt out of the situation without serious consequence.
• Trust that when things go wrong, you have the ability to repair the situation on both words and deeds.
• Steer clear of naysayers - surround yourself with positive influences.
• Instead of defining yourself by what you do, base your actions around what you believe - the things that are most important to you in the world.
• Discover the ways in which you can achieve outstanding results professionally and personally.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, REFLECTIONS Coaching LLC. All rights reserved.
How to Get What You Want in Work and Life - To learn more about this author, visit David Bohl's Website.
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Many of my life coaching and business coaching clients express a certain dissatisfaction and ineffectuality in both their professions and their personal lives. A feeling that yes, their credentials and accomplishments appear impressive on paper. And yet, somehow they are removed from the entire situation... almost a spectator, as events unfold that they have little to no control over.
Why is this? How can a grown individual who has clearly "made it" in the traditional sense, hold the belief that they have no say in what happens to them? Is this an imagined perception? Or is it really true that other people are calling the shots while they sit there in passive acceptance?
The answer to this question is that if they're feeling it, then it's probably happening. It's not an uncommon feeling, by any means. And no, the situation is surely not a desirable one, but it's certainly something that can be worked through and overcome. Many have moved on to living a life that's in alignment with their values and beliefs. Many people have learned to navigate their own course. You can, too.
The majority of professionals, in fact, will express at least once in their lifetime, that their lives are governed by outside influences beyond their control - people, situations, events. It happens precisely BECAUSE they have adopted this passive attitude, and it's a dead-end mindset for sure. After all - the more one holds the belief that he has no influence on his own outcomes, the less likely he is apt to try and do something to improve the situation.
I was faced with a coaching challenge recently where my client could not see that the answers to her issues were inside of her and had been all along. When I challenged her to look beyond her perceived limitations and come up with an alternative plan of action to help herself, I was met with resistance. My client expected that I would make the decisions and supply the solutions for her. But that's not what coaching is all about.
Coaching, whether in the professional or the personal sense, is a co-creative, collaborative process where one is able to move past perceived limitations and learn to have a greater impact on what's happening around them and to them. When you work with a coach, you embark on a partnership that allows you to get to know your strengths more intimately as a means of becoming empowered to live your life the way you want, and not what someone else has prescribed for you.
Some tips on how to get beyond the mentality that you are nothing more than a passenger on the road of your own life:
• Instead of blaming others, begin to realize that you can influence outcomes and realize change through your own words and actions.
• Instead of saying "I can't" or "I don't know how," realize that the vast power lies within you. Open your mind to learning new things, mastering new skills, growing beyond what you know today.
• Instead of treating the past as a crutch that prevents you from moving forward in the future, take an inquisitive and analytical approach.
• Ask questions in everything you do. Why did this work for me before, but it's not working now? What changes can I make so that things will go the way I want?
• Accept disappointment as a temporary obstacle, not a crushing defeat.
• Appreciate your personal gifts - learn how to use your unique talents to your advantage.
• Recognize that the power to take decisive action on your own behalf is within you and has been all along.
• Realize that if you don't care for the way something is playing out, you can opt out of the situation without serious consequence.
• Trust that when things go wrong, you have the ability to repair the situation on both words and deeds.
• Steer clear of naysayers - surround yourself with positive influences.
• Instead of defining yourself by what you do, base your actions around what you believe - the things that are most important to you in the world.
• Discover the ways in which you can achieve outstanding results professionally and personally.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, REFLECTIONS Coaching LLC. All rights reserved.
How to Get What You Want in Work and Life - To learn more about this author, visit David Bohl's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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