Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal?
Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal?
Unfortunately, these well-meaning writers leave us with feelings of frustration and inadequacy, for we‘ve now indirectly been given a new standard by which to measure our own lives. Their suggestions of how to “take control” of our lives seldom bear any resemblance to what our lives currently look like. Upon examination and reflection, we find that, when compared to the model of stability presented to us, we see that we simply don’t make the grade. It’s now been made abundantly clear to us that our lives are unbalanced and totally out of control. In addition, we now feel incompetent, guilty, and hopeless because we’ve added one more idyllic aspiration that we can never attain and that we’ll beat ourselves up about over and over again, adding more traumas to our already stressed-out existence.
What’s wrong here is not that we want to live balanced lives, it’s that we’ve swallowed hook, line, and sinker someone else’s concept of what balance is. We’ve let somebody who knows nothing about us tell us how we should define our lives.
How do we know when our lives are out of balance? Many of us are out of balance when we are constantly tired, we feel like their choices are limited, we feel like life is “happening” to us, we react to situations and interactions instead of act, life seems more negative than positive, and we feel like we’re “burned-out” (generally characterized by a lack of enthusiasm, feelings of dissatisfaction, emotional exhaustion, an inability to concentrate, a sense that we’re working hard but accomplishing little, and observations that we’re not having much fun).
Is it wrong to want to achieve a balanced life? Of course not! We simply need to make certain that we understand and define what balance means to us and what our hopes, dreams, and aspirations are. We cannot allow someone else to tell us what life balance should mean to us, nor can we fall into the trap of trying to mirror someone else’s version of the perfectly balanced life. What we can do is create our own definitions of balanced lives and live them!
How do we begin to define our balanced lives? We start by understanding and appreciating what balance is not. First, we must understand that it isn’t a magic formula, nor is balance an automatic 50/50 equilibrium between work and private life. One can’t define balance as spending 8 hours each and every day at work and 8 hours each and every day on personal things.
Second, the life we’re endeavoring to create is not a perfect target that one hits and levels off at. It isn’t a static outcome. It changes over time, depending on external and internal factors, particularly at different stages in one’s life. It isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.
Third, our envisioned new lifestyle won’t be a constant. Life happens. It sometimes swings like a pendulum. If our goal is unwavering balance and happiness, we’ll be disappointed.
Finally, your balanced life isn’t and ideal, especially not someone else’s. It’s uniquely personal – each and every one of us has the chance to define it and to live it.
Once we’ve realized and accepted what a balanced life is not, we’re ready to embark upon the journey of inventing the meaning of what balance stands for to us and creating our lifestyles in support of these objectives.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, Reflections Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.
Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal - To learn more about this author, visit David Bohl's Website.
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We are constantly being bombarded with the notion that work-life balance is crucial to leading a happy life. Self-help authors share with us their precise points of view as to what our lives should look like. We’re warned that there’s a perfectly balanced state that we can achieve if only we work more intensely, are superior at managing our time, are more efficient at every task we undertake, have each of our “spaces” organized, and/or are more adept at saying “NO” and standing for it.
Unfortunately, these well-meaning writers leave us with feelings of frustration and inadequacy, for we‘ve now indirectly been given a new standard by which to measure our own lives. Their suggestions of how to “take control” of our lives seldom bear any resemblance to what our lives currently look like. Upon examination and reflection, we find that, when compared to the model of stability presented to us, we see that we simply don’t make the grade. It’s now been made abundantly clear to us that our lives are unbalanced and totally out of control. In addition, we now feel incompetent, guilty, and hopeless because we’ve added one more idyllic aspiration that we can never attain and that we’ll beat ourselves up about over and over again, adding more traumas to our already stressed-out existence.
What’s wrong here is not that we want to live balanced lives, it’s that we’ve swallowed hook, line, and sinker someone else’s concept of what balance is. We’ve let somebody who knows nothing about us tell us how we should define our lives.
How do we know when our lives are out of balance? Many of us are out of balance when we are constantly tired, we feel like their choices are limited, we feel like life is “happening” to us, we react to situations and interactions instead of act, life seems more negative than positive, and we feel like we’re “burned-out” (generally characterized by a lack of enthusiasm, feelings of dissatisfaction, emotional exhaustion, an inability to concentrate, a sense that we’re working hard but accomplishing little, and observations that we’re not having much fun).
Is it wrong to want to achieve a balanced life? Of course not! We simply need to make certain that we understand and define what balance means to us and what our hopes, dreams, and aspirations are. We cannot allow someone else to tell us what life balance should mean to us, nor can we fall into the trap of trying to mirror someone else’s version of the perfectly balanced life. What we can do is create our own definitions of balanced lives and live them!
How do we begin to define our balanced lives? We start by understanding and appreciating what balance is not. First, we must understand that it isn’t a magic formula, nor is balance an automatic 50/50 equilibrium between work and private life. One can’t define balance as spending 8 hours each and every day at work and 8 hours each and every day on personal things.
Second, the life we’re endeavoring to create is not a perfect target that one hits and levels off at. It isn’t a static outcome. It changes over time, depending on external and internal factors, particularly at different stages in one’s life. It isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.
Third, our envisioned new lifestyle won’t be a constant. Life happens. It sometimes swings like a pendulum. If our goal is unwavering balance and happiness, we’ll be disappointed.
Finally, your balanced life isn’t and ideal, especially not someone else’s. It’s uniquely personal – each and every one of us has the chance to define it and to live it.
Once we’ve realized and accepted what a balanced life is not, we’re ready to embark upon the journey of inventing the meaning of what balance stands for to us and creating our lifestyles in support of these objectives.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, Reflections Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.
Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal - To learn more about this author, visit David Bohl's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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John AlexanderJohn has taught keyword research and SEO skills to small groups of business owners and Webmasters from over 80 different countries world wide since 2002. John is also the Director of Search Engine Academy ; Co-director of Training at Search Engine Workshops offering live, SEO Workshops with his partner SEO educator Robin Nobles, author of the very first comprehensive online search engine marketing courses at SEO Training Online and the SEO Workshop Resource Center. I look forward to hearing from you! - Visit John Alexander's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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