Tweet

Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal?

Written by: David Bohl

Article Overview: We are constantly being bombarded with the notion that work-life balance is crucial to leading a happy life. Self-help authors share with us their precise points of view as to what our lives should look like. We’re warned that there’s a perfectly balanced state that we can achieve if only we work more intensely, are superior at managing our time, are more efficient at every task we undertake, have each of our “spaces” organized, and/or are more adept at saying “NO” and standing for it.

Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal?

We are constantly being bombarded with the notion that work-life balance is crucial to leading a happy life. Self-help authors share with us their precise points of view as to what our lives should look like. We’re warned that there’s a perfectly balanced state that we can achieve if only we work more intensely, are superior at managing our time, are more efficient at every task we undertake, have each of our “spaces” organized, and/or are more adept at saying “NO” and standing for it.

Unfortunately, these well-meaning writers leave us with feelings of frustration and inadequacy, for we‘ve now indirectly been given a new standard by which to measure our own lives. Their suggestions of how to “take control” of our lives seldom bear any resemblance to what our lives currently look like. Upon examination and reflection, we find that, when compared to the model of stability presented to us, we see that we simply don’t make the grade. It’s now been made abundantly clear to us that our lives are unbalanced and totally out of control. In addition, we now feel incompetent, guilty, and hopeless because we’ve added one more idyllic aspiration that we can never attain and that we’ll beat ourselves up about over and over again, adding more traumas to our already stressed-out existence.

What’s wrong here is not that we want to live balanced lives, it’s that we’ve swallowed hook, line, and sinker someone else’s concept of what balance is. We’ve let somebody who knows nothing about us tell us how we should define our lives.

How do we know when our lives are out of balance? Many of us are out of balance when we are constantly tired, we feel like their choices are limited, we feel like life is “happening” to us, we react to situations and interactions instead of act, life seems more negative than positive, and we feel like we’re “burned-out” (generally characterized by a lack of enthusiasm, feelings of dissatisfaction, emotional exhaustion, an inability to concentrate, a sense that we’re working hard but accomplishing little, and observations that we’re not having much fun).

Is it wrong to want to achieve a balanced life? Of course not! We simply need to make certain that we understand and define what balance means to us and what our hopes, dreams, and aspirations are. We cannot allow someone else to tell us what life balance should mean to us, nor can we fall into the trap of trying to mirror someone else’s version of the perfectly balanced life. What we can do is create our own definitions of balanced lives and live them!

How do we begin to define our balanced lives? We start by understanding and appreciating what balance is not. First, we must understand that it isn’t a magic formula, nor is balance an automatic 50/50 equilibrium between work and private life. One can’t define balance as spending 8 hours each and every day at work and 8 hours each and every day on personal things.

Second, the life we’re endeavoring to create is not a perfect target that one hits and levels off at. It isn’t a static outcome. It changes over time, depending on external and internal factors, particularly at different stages in one’s life. It isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.

Third, our envisioned new lifestyle won’t be a constant. Life happens. It sometimes swings like a pendulum. If our goal is unwavering balance and happiness, we’ll be disappointed.

Finally, your balanced life isn’t and ideal, especially not someone else’s. It’s uniquely personal – each and every one of us has the chance to define it and to live it.

Once we’ve realized and accepted what a balanced life is not, we’re ready to embark upon the journey of inventing the meaning of what balance stands for to us and creating our lifestyles in support of these objectives.

Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, Reflections Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.

Related Articles
  LEADERSHIP REQUIRES EXCELLENCE, NOT PERFECTION
  MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
  Work Life Balance - Is it Even Possible?
  Problems First
  Dream Your Way to A Successful Life

Article Tags:



Related Forum Posts
Re: How did we Live before Electricity - Interesting topic everyone. The first thing that comes to mind and may answer some of your questions is this: look at how the Amish live. Now, you may not be familiar with the Amish where you live, but here in PA, I'm surrounded by them. Lancaster, PA is the heart of Amish, really. But, just over the ridge and mountain from where I live, the Amish are everywhere as well. They live without electricity everyday. It's forbidden for them to have it in their homes. They live a much more uncleanly life compared to the rest of us, but they get by and do very well for themselves. There are a lot of traits they have that many do not. Their work habit is the best I've ever seen. You can actually learn a lot from them, including how to get by without electricity... LOL. I like the idea of solar electricity. I think that's a technology we're going to be seeing more and more of.
Re: Just a simple comparison & contrast of our truths in crisis. - Hi, that's a great point. I used to think my life wasn't that exciting or good and these days billionaires are killing themselves because of the market crash thinking a million is not enough! Before you start thinking about your life, look around you. Think how many people would love to have the life your living. A lot of us here may not be millionaires or billionaires, but at least we are fortunate enough to live under a roof and feed ourselves each day, and being able to afford internet. If you thought it was bad here with the economy, think of other 3rd world countries. Enjoy the life your giving, because in the next life you might not be so lucky!
Re: Why Did You Become An Entrepreneur? - Hi members, This is a great post by Evan and I am late getting on board but I thought I would ad my few cents worth, LOL. I must say that wanting to be an Entrepreneur or work for myself has never ever meant that I wanted to have my own company, that has never been my motivation. My motivation has always been to work from home and be in control of my life, nothing else. Just to be able to organise my life around working from home would be a dream come true for me and is something I am striving for. I have always been a fairly organised sort of person so the old trap of giving myself too much time off would probably work just the opposite for me. I would be so frightened of failure I would probably work too much. There is an old saying which goes something like ’If you love what you do then you never do a days work in your life’. It is something like that anyway and for many of us, working from home would seem like that, it certainly would for me, regards, Mal.
What is holding women back - I think the family vs business problem is an on-going struggle for women. For those who don't have a family yet, there is that fear that you may be sacrificing one for the other. For the mothers out there, it is a balancing act. Are there any female entrepreneurs out there who have a family and feel they have a balanced life? I would love to hear your secrets!
Re: I will be away - It must be great to live so close to wild life when you live in a city you don't have that advantage but in Africa one does not have to go too far from home to get into the bush and enjoy it, so in that way we are quite lucky. MichelleJ


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Small Business Internet Marketing

How to develop the best lateral thinking skills

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.