Is striving to live a balanced life an impossible goal?
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Free PDF Download Why Time Management Is Overrated - By David Bohl |
We are constantly being bombarded with the notion that work-life balance is crucial to leading a happy life. Self-help authors share with us their precise points of view as to what our lives should look like. We’re warned that there’s a perfectly balanced state that we can achieve if only we work more intensely, are superior at managing our time, are more efficient at every task we undertake, have each of our “spaces” organized, and/or are more adept at saying “NO” and standing for it.
Unfortunately, these well-meaning writers leave us with feelings of frustration and inadequacy, for we‘ve now indirectly been given a new standard by which to measure our own lives. Their suggestions of how to “take control” of our lives seldom bear any resemblance to what our lives currently look like. Upon examination and reflection, we find that, when compared to the model of stability presented to us, we see that we simply don’t make the grade. It’s now been made abundantly clear to us that our lives are unbalanced and totally out of control. In addition, we now feel incompetent, guilty, and hopeless because we’ve added one more idyllic aspiration that we can never attain and that we’ll beat ourselves up about over and over again, adding more traumas to our already stressed-out existence.
What’s wrong here is not that we want to live balanced lives, it’s that we’ve swallowed hook, line, and sinker someone else’s concept of what balance is. We’ve let somebody who knows nothing about us tell us how we should define our lives.
How do we know when our lives are out of balance? Many of us are out of balance when we are constantly tired, we feel like their choices are limited, we feel like life is “happening” to us, we react to situations and interactions instead of act, life seems more negative than positive, and we feel like we’re “burned-out” (generally characterized by a lack of enthusiasm, feelings of dissatisfaction, emotional exhaustion, an inability to concentrate, a sense that we’re working hard but accomplishing little, and observations that we’re not having much fun).
Is it wrong to want to achieve a balanced life? Of course not! We simply need to make certain that we understand and define what balance means to us and what our hopes, dreams, and aspirations are. We cannot allow someone else to tell us what life balance should mean to us, nor can we fall into the trap of trying to mirror someone else’s version of the perfectly balanced life. What we can do is create our own definitions of balanced lives and live them!
How do we begin to define our balanced lives? We start by understanding and appreciating what balance is not. First, we must understand that it isn’t a magic formula, nor is balance an automatic 50/50 equilibrium between work and private life. One can’t define balance as spending 8 hours each and every day at work and 8 hours each and every day on personal things.
Second, the life we’re endeavoring to create is not a perfect target that one hits and levels off at. It isn’t a static outcome. It changes over time, depending on external and internal factors, particularly at different stages in one’s life. It isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.
Third, our envisioned new lifestyle won’t be a constant. Life happens. It sometimes swings like a pendulum. If our goal is unwavering balance and happiness, we’ll be disappointed.
Finally, your balanced life isn’t and ideal, especially not someone else’s. It’s uniquely personal – each and every one of us has the chance to define it and to live it.
Once we’ve realized and accepted what a balanced life is not, we’re ready to embark upon the journey of inventing the meaning of what balance stands for to us and creating our lifestyles in support of these objectives.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, Reflections Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.
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Free PDF Download Why Time Management Is Overrated - By David Bohl |
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About the Author: David Bohl RSS for David's articles - Visit David's website David B. Bohl has been on a truly unique journey. Prior to launching his coaching practice, David gained his life’s experience and knowledge as an entrepreneur, business owner, venture capital investor, and philanthropic patron, as well as from the hierarchical world of a global investment bank. Upon "succeeding" at each stage in his professional life, David slowly began to realize that a change was in order. It seemed that instead of reveling in the joys of life, he, like most of us, had bought into a seemingly impossible mandate - a relentless strive to get further in life at almost any cost. He divested himself of all of his business holdings and began his pursuit of a more enjoyable and rewarding life. In time, David established REFLECTIONS Coaching LLC, where he now serves as a personal coach, lifestyle mentor, educator, and author. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com Click here to visit David's website. Theres a Better Way Who Cares Making Time for Your Creative Self Life Balance for HomeBased Business Owners How to Win the Balance Battle Balance Your Life Simply By Changing Your Attitudes and Beliefs |
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