Work Life Balance for Men
Work Life Balance for Men
But here’s the thing—the key lies in that little word above, “expected.”
A whole lot of the misery that many men endure comes from trying to live up to external expectations. What are those? Here are a few examples that might have been programmed into you:
* I am the man, and must always BE the man.
* I am what I do
* I am my ability to bring home a paycheck
* I have to shut my mouth and keep things to myself.
* I have to bury my emotions.
* I can’t make mistakes.
* If I do make a mistake, I can’t let anybody know
* I have to quietly solve my own problems without anybody knowing that I had any in the first place.
* If I show fear, that’s a sign of weakness, making me something less than a man.
* Not only must I remain stoic, but I’m also expected to keep up a front that everything in my world and in my life is great, especially to those who are closest to me.
* I’m expected to be the bead-winner and have a constant innate drive to always get ahead and be more than I am today.
* I am judged by what I acquire – house, car, real estate – MONEY.
* Successful people don’t have to play by the rules – they can leave work early to play.
* I am expected to work long enough to accumulate massive wealth
* Then, to show that I’ve arrived, I can retire early, lead a life of leisure, and live off of my investments.
Now let’s think about where you got those expectations, because you didn’t choose them, did you?
Nope—you got them from your parents, your schooling, your teachers, your mentors, and your friends. And each of those reinforced what the others taught you.
If you slipped up and started making your own choices, your buddy or your dad or your teacher would say, “C’mon, that’s not what men do!”
As if being a man is all about what you do…think about that one for a minute.
Living a life out of balance means you’re constantly rushing around trying to live up to what everyone expects from you…and the problem is that the expectations are set sky-high.
Life balance starts by freeing yourself of the expectations set by others. David Bohl of Reflections Coaching, LLC, has these suggestions for breaking free:
1. Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen and make a list of all the things you have to do and have to be.
2. Next, beside each expectation, make your best guess of where it came from—parents, school, friends, or where?
3. Now take a new piece of paper, and write your own expectations in the form of goals for yourself—what you want to be.
4. Make a plan to take steps to free yourself of other’s expectations, except where it makes sense to take other’s wishes into consideration (such as those of your wife and kids.)
When you can life live on your own terms, setting your own goals and living up to your own expectations, you’ll be happier and more productive.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, Reflections Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.
Work Life Balance for Men - To learn more about this author, visit David Bohl's Website.
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Sometimes it’s tough being a man. You’re expected to do your job or run your business, support your family, be a good husband and father…and all while keeping your mouth shut about any emotions you have, especially if they’re negative.
But here’s the thing—the key lies in that little word above, “expected.”
A whole lot of the misery that many men endure comes from trying to live up to external expectations. What are those? Here are a few examples that might have been programmed into you:
* I am the man, and must always BE the man.
* I am what I do
* I am my ability to bring home a paycheck
* I have to shut my mouth and keep things to myself.
* I have to bury my emotions.
* I can’t make mistakes.
* If I do make a mistake, I can’t let anybody know
* I have to quietly solve my own problems without anybody knowing that I had any in the first place.
* If I show fear, that’s a sign of weakness, making me something less than a man.
* Not only must I remain stoic, but I’m also expected to keep up a front that everything in my world and in my life is great, especially to those who are closest to me.
* I’m expected to be the bead-winner and have a constant innate drive to always get ahead and be more than I am today.
* I am judged by what I acquire – house, car, real estate – MONEY.
* Successful people don’t have to play by the rules – they can leave work early to play.
* I am expected to work long enough to accumulate massive wealth
* Then, to show that I’ve arrived, I can retire early, lead a life of leisure, and live off of my investments.
Now let’s think about where you got those expectations, because you didn’t choose them, did you?
Nope—you got them from your parents, your schooling, your teachers, your mentors, and your friends. And each of those reinforced what the others taught you.
If you slipped up and started making your own choices, your buddy or your dad or your teacher would say, “C’mon, that’s not what men do!”
As if being a man is all about what you do…think about that one for a minute.
Living a life out of balance means you’re constantly rushing around trying to live up to what everyone expects from you…and the problem is that the expectations are set sky-high.
Life balance starts by freeing yourself of the expectations set by others. David Bohl of Reflections Coaching, LLC, has these suggestions for breaking free:
1. Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen and make a list of all the things you have to do and have to be.
2. Next, beside each expectation, make your best guess of where it came from—parents, school, friends, or where?
3. Now take a new piece of paper, and write your own expectations in the form of goals for yourself—what you want to be.
4. Make a plan to take steps to free yourself of other’s expectations, except where it makes sense to take other’s wishes into consideration (such as those of your wife and kids.)
When you can life live on your own terms, setting your own goals and living up to your own expectations, you’ll be happier and more productive.
Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, Reflections Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.
Work Life Balance for Men - To learn more about this author, visit David Bohl's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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