Good morning, Believe Nation!
Today’s message is choose who you listen to. Over to you, Gabrielle Union.
Early in my career, I was named the next it girl. And you’re like, “Well, I think I should “really believe this.” You know, and then you read, “You’re the worst thing ever, “you should never leave the house.”
And you’re like, oh, we should throw that out. And eventually you just kind of get to a place where they kind of cancel each other out.
You’re going to hear the naysayers and the people who think you suck, and there are going to be the people who think you’re the second coming of pockets, but it’s usually somewhere in the middle.
If you believe all your praise, there’s nowhere to go, you’re not going to grow. And if you believe every negative thing about you, you’re not going to get out of bed. So, I try to be reasonable. People whose opinion I respect, I listen.
You need to be really careful who you listen to. You’ve got this big dream, you’ve got these big ambitions, you want to make your mark, you want to do your thing, and often that’s scary.
You know, if it involves doing something you’ve never done before, that can be quite scary, and when people tell you that you can’t do it, when people tell you that you suck, when people tell you it’s never going to work out, a lot of times that’s really hard to hear because you are doubting yourself.
And when you hear that from other people, that just compounds the doubt and makes you wonder, can I actually go out an do this thing? And so choosing who you listen to is really, really important.
Some people will pour rain on your parade because they’re jealous, because maybe they’ve taken their shot at following their dreams and it didn’t work out, and so now nobody around them can have success either.
Nobody else is allowed to go off and be an entrepreneur and chase their dreams because they tried it and it didn’t work out, and so nobody else can have it.
Life sucks, and they’re going to drag everybody down in the hole with them. That’s a lot of people. Others may rain on your parade because they actually love you.
They just don’t see what you see.
You know, your parents may think that it’s not a great idea, or your guidance counselor, or your friends may not think that what you’re doing is feasible, because in their world, nobody’s ever done it, because they haven’t done it.
And your parents may be thinking success equals this, because that’s what success is for them, because that’s the path that they took. And so they may be raining on your parade, but it’s out of love, it’s not out of jealousy.
At the end of the day, they want to see you become successful, they just have a different definition of success, and they don’t want to see you go through pain, and hurt, and struggle, and woes, and maybe not reaching your goal.
And then there are other people who will give you the perfect advice, exactly what you need exactly at the right time that you need it. And so, really pay attention to who is giving this advice, and not trying to have an emotional reaction to it, but look at that person.
Say, “Has this person done what I want to do? “Does this person have the expertise “to give me the advice that I need?”
Because if somebody is telling you that your idea sucks and will never work out, and they haven’t done what you are trying to do, then their advice is meaningless to you.
If anything, you should do the opposite. Why are you taking advice from someone who hasn’t done what you want to do?
You cannot let their limiting mindset prevent you from being great. And it doesn’t mean you need to attack them. It doesn’t mean you need to say, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! “You have a limiting mindset! “You’ve never gone out and achieved your dreams!”
You don’t have to hurt them back, but you also don’t have to react to the information they’re giving you.
Treat them like a child, treat them like a puppy, treat them like a baby. They can’t help it. They’re negative. It may be out of jealousy, it may be out of love, but either way, you wouldn’t take advice from a baby.
“if somebody is telling you that your idea sucks and will never work out, and they haven’t done what you are trying to do, then their advice is meaningless to you.” – Evan Carmichael
And if you can diffuse that in your head, if you can understand that these people have not done what you’re trying to do, and not listen to their advice, and not listen to their doubts, and still know that you need to get this done, and maybe it doesn’t work out, maybe you don’t hit that dream, maybe you don’t get your goals, but you still need to know.
Because you would rather fail and at least know than live the rest of your life uncertain and in regret, wishing you had gave more to the cause to figure out if it would work.
Stop planning, stop thinking with the head, stop using your logic all the time. With all the big decisions, make them with the heart.
Question of the Day
So the question of the day today is I’m curious, who has given you the best advice for your business, and what was it? Leave it in the comments below. I’m super curious to find out.
I also want to give a quick shout out to Stefan Patak. Thank you so much, man, for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word. It really, really, really means a lot to me, and I hope that you’re enjoying the read.
So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself, and whatever your one word is. Much love, I’ll see you guys again tomorrow morning for another shot of Entspresso.
The only time in the last couple of years that I knew, as soon as we finished a song, that it was sort of a, like, I hate to say game changer, but that it was sort of a next level situation was when I finished Shake It Off.
But I wanted to be sure, so I, that was the very end of the recording process. I finished Shake It Off and I knew I was done with the record, and I flew back to Nashville, had a bunch of label people who I trust, and a bunch of management who I trust, and my mom and dad sit in my parents’ living room, and I played them the full record, and I didn’t tell them anything about how I thought I had written the first single.
I didn’t tell them anything like, “You got to listen, like, listen for track eight. “Shake It Off is the one, I’m telling you.” But when that song came on and halfway through, all of them look at me and go, “This is the one,” it was such a validating feeling because I thought I knew, and I was so sure I knew, and then it turned out I did know.
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