Hello Believe Nation, my name is Evan Carmichael. My one word is believe. I believe in people more than they believe in themselves.
My sincere hope is that if you see in you what I see in you, you’ll go off and change the planet. I started the Believe Love series because having a relationship can be hard. And especially hard for entrepreneurs because we are managing a child in our business and also a relationship.
I thought it’d be of great value to myself and also to you guys to share some advice, some expertise and knowledge from people who are having successful businesses and careers and also relationships and marriages and how to make it all work together. Today we’re going to learn from Jada and Will Smith and their message of don’t quit.
Don’t Quit – Jada & Will Smith
Make It Together
I know who’s here with me tonight.
Interviewer: After 20 years, she knows your scent.
I know the touch, I know the scent, I know the energy, everything.
Interviewer: I told her, we were just talking about that. I said, “That look of love that I saw “when you all walked onto this carpet, my goodness.”
Will Smith: You know, Jada, ’cause we’ve survived.
Jada Smith: We have, we’ve survived.
Will Smith: That’s the thing that is difficult that people don’t understand about love. You think it’s all flowers and everything but love gets created by making it together. It’s like it’s from survival.
Jada Smith: We’ve come through some stuff.
Will Smith: This is a gangster right here in front of you all. This little one here a gangster. Ride or die.
Better Yourself Individually
Interviewer: It can’t be easy always to make a relationship work. You talked about recently, marriage being a hard thing to work on. What did you mean by that?
Will Smith: Everything that you do that’s great is going to be difficult. The most difficult part about a relationship is that it’s really not between two people that makes it work. It’s between you and you. What Jada and I have learned is bettering ourselves individually is how you make a relationship work. If you’re going to have counseling, marriage counseling isn’t always the way to go. Individual counseling, you get yourself together, and present yourself to your partner in a higher spiritual and emotional state and you’d be surprised how much better things can go.
Will Smith: If there is a secret, I would say, is that we never went into working on our relationship. We only ever worked on ourselves individually and then presented ourselves to one another better than we were previously.
Have A Purpose
Will Smith: If you don’t have a goal, if you don’t have a purpose for your relationship and pretty much anything. It’s, like, if you don’t have a purpose, if you don’t have a place that you’re going, something that you want to accomplish, something you want to do, you can really get lost in the murk of the journey.
Oprah: There has to be a vision for-
Will Smith: There has to be a vision, right. So, why are we together? I mean, you fine, you fine, you know. But as an answer for why two spirits would join together and decide to travel this perilous journey of life together. Fine or you can cook or you keep the house protected, that’s really not enough. There’s so much more that you have to be dedicated to.
Be Relaxed With Each Another
Jada Smith: Will and I are very relaxed with one another. I think because from how I’ve answered questions of, “Girl, what would you do if he came home “and this and that and that.” Or, “Being married to a big superstar like Will, “how do you deal with other women?” My answer’s always, “I’ve always told Will, “you can do “whatever you want “as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror “and be okay.” Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.
Develop True Love
Will Smith: I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve made the distinction between romance and love. Real love is born of surviving with someone where you develop true love.
Look And Understand What Is Needed
In that have a certain understanding of what is needed. I think that with marriages, people have to understand that you have to look at your marriage and understand what is needed in your marriage. Not what people think your marriage should be. Not what people want your marriage to be. But I have to look at my husband and I have to look at him and look at what he needs as an individual. He has to look at me and see what I need. Then we have to look at the union and see what the union needs. We have to make decisions based on that. Not based on what people think marriage should be.
Interviewer: I got to just ask out of personal, ’cause you guys are such a cool couple, another anniversary, was it, recently? That is so cool. What advice, I got little kids, only been married a little bit, what advice could you pass on to your boy right here?
Jada Smith: Just stay in it.
Will Smith: Just stay in it.
Jada Smith: Just keep on trucking. ‘Cause you got little kids so I know what that’s about. It gets real.
Interviewer: It becomes about them but you can’t forget about you either, right?
Jada Smith: Marriages go through many different cycles and stages. It gets better and better and better. You will go through some tough patches, some really bad ones that are going to make you want to quit, going to make you want to quit, but don’t.
Interviewer: She’s about making about to cry right now. Okay.
Will Smith: And you want to kill, makes you want to kill him.
Jada Smith: That is real talk.
Interviewer: I love it, real talk.
Jada Smith: Just stay in, just stay in.
Interviewer: All right, all right. I’m going to go pray about that tonight.
Will Smith: We’ve been married 20 years. We’ve been asking ourself that question. Really, at the end of the day, it’s just not quitting. You can’t expect it to be easy. Our marriage was the most difficult, grueling, and excruciating thing that we’ve ever taken on in our lives. We’re just not quitters and by the same token, we’re not apathetic. So, we’re not going to sit there and let it, you know.
Interviewer: In those same pictures, I love seeing you and Will. You guys have got what everybody wants. So, what is the secret? How do you guys always look like you’re on honeymoon?
Jada Smith: You know what, it’s really just friendship. I have to tell you. It’s like your partner has to be your best, best friend. And he’s my best friend.
Keep The Spontaneity
Interviewer: How do you keep things so, I keep reading that the pair of you have this, sort of, fantastic sex life after 14 years of marriage.
Jada Smith: You have to. I know people get so upset about it, but, for me-
Interviewer: I don’t, I get excited by it. What I read was that wherever you go, the pair of you, you try and make love. Is this true?
Jada Smith: We’ve made love in some interesting places.
Interviewer: Should I be concerned about my green room?
You should be. You should be. The thing about it is that I feel like you have to keep spontaneity. You have to keep your partner on their toes because once it starts getting into a routine, it’s like, it gets very boring.
♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ The way you love me make me want to say ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ Girl, the way you look make me want to say ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ Just who you are make me want to say ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ Need you more but it’s like Picasso painted your aura ♫ It’s like Beethoven composed your vocal tones ♫ Rodin-inspired hands sculpted you the desire of man ♫ Maya Angelou breathes inside you ♫ Seeds of my wildest dreams fertilize in your eyes ♫ You’re compassionate and you’re passionate ♫ It’s how ration it ♫ That make me swear you was trained how to take me there ♫ Rarely, I seen fate be fair ♫ We got a stroke of grace ♫ ‘Member you was countin’ me out ♫ It’s crazy we had times of doubt, right ♫ Since the dawn of time, writ in history ♫ Better men, better poets than me ♫ Have tried to set verse to the love they knew ♫ Dead to words, judge what I do want to give you ♫ All my love ♫ A thousand kisses from you ♫ Never too much, never too much, never too much ♫ I just don’t want to stop ♫ Big Will ♫ Lil’ Jade ♫ 2002, Tra-Knox ♫ All my love ♫ All my love ♫ Everything I got, baby
Thank you guys so much for watching. I’d love to know, what did you think? What was your favorite message in this video? How are you going to apply it to your life somehow? Is this series helpful to you? And do you want to see it continue or not? Leave it down in the comments below. I’m really, really curious to see what you have to say.
Thank you guys, again, so much for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love, I’ll see you soon.
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