Good morning believe nation today’s message is learn how to deal with criticism. Over to you James Franco.
♫ I wake up every morning ♫ Entspresso keep me going ♫ I wake up every morning
You know when you’re a creative person and you’re putting your work out in the world, sometimes that criticism is biting, sometimes it’s harmful. And so you just kind of have to be aware of that.
And one of the reasons, and figure out a way to kind of deal with that. And figure out who you’re going to listen to and who you’re not going to listen to for your feedback. Because I do believe feedback is incredibly important.
And it’s one of the reasons that I, when I teach, I also design my classes this way. So that they can’t put their work out into the world. That’s the final step. Seeing how your work is being read. By audiences, by critics if you care to listen to them.
“When you’re a creative person and you’re putting your work out in the world, sometimes that criticism is biting, sometimes it’s harmful. And so you just kind of have to be aware of that.” – James Franco
And so, and that is the final ingredient that will make you better. Because if you’re making movies, you’re making television, you’re making videos. Whatever you’re making. My guess is your making it to communicate, to, for an audience to read it.
You’re not just making it, for yourself to kind of watch. Unless you know, you’re making like, I don’t know. Porn with you and your partner or something like that. To get off on.
Like you’re making it for an audience. Like, and so, so understanding how it’s communicating to that audience, is incredibly important. So, I do value feedback. But you just have to under … Like one of the things you learn in any MFA program, you know if it’s writing or filmmaking, or art, or whatever is …
Because they’re usually run in a workshop manner. You know, you’re getting feedback from your classmates and your teachers, on your work constantly. And one of the things you learn in that system is, well …
His feedback is always lame, he does not understand what I am trying to do. He’s like wrapped up in his own thing. Or he’s angry about the way that I dress or something … Like his feedback is worthless. Okay.
But she has always you know given me good feedback. And actually when I listen to her it makes myself better. And … And you just apply that to the larger world like, okay, this critic has some little, you know, drum to beat.
And he just doesn’t … Whatever. He’s off on his own thing, and he can, You know. Beat the hate drum. Fine, I don’t care. This critic, you know. Gets it. And if I, Oh. It made some great insight. Okay. That will help me on the next one.
And, so you just have to kind of learn who to listen to, and who not to listen to. And if somebody is telling you Just plain out, don’t do that, you’re not allowed to write books, you’re not allowed to direct. Like. I would just give the advice of don’t listen to them.
Evan: I think this is a really important topic because as entrepreneurs, we are going to get faced with a ton of criticism as we are trying to build something new, put it out into the market.
Try to get some feedback. Try to build something. We’re doing something that’s never been done before. Ideally as entrepreneurs we like creating new stuff. And when you’re doing that you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. And people don’t always like new. And they are going to bash you for it.
There’s two things I want to talk about. The first is, you need to understand that to have success as an entrepreneur, you need to combine what you love doing, with what adds value to other people. This is the mix. You need both elements. Something that you love doing and you can pour your heart, your energy, your spirit.
“Ideally as entrepreneurs we like creating new stuff. And when you’re doing that you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. And people don’t always like new. And they are going to bash you for it.” – Evan Carmichael
Everything you got. Your waking moments, hours, days, into making this thing the best it can be because you love it so much. Combined with what the market wants. What do your audience want? What do customers want to pay for. You need both to have success in business. Because if you love doing something.
You love it, it’s your absolute passion, but it adds zero value to other people. Then it’s great. It’s a hobby. It’s something that you do for yourself, that fills your soul. Makes you a better human being. It’s awesome. But it’s not a business. Where, if you’re only chasing the market. You’re chasing the hottest opportunity.
Then yeah, you can make a little bit of money in the short term. But if you don’t love it, you’re never going to to be the best at it. You’re never going to win that game. You’re never going to have a lot of success in business.
So you need both. The love, and the audience acceptance. So, the love has to come from inside. The audience acceptance comes from feedback. Comes from criticism. Comes from talking to customers and understanding what to they want? How can you help them.
“If you’re only chasing the market. You’re chasing the hottest opportunity. Then yeah, you can make a little bit of money in the short term.” – Evan Carmichael
When I look at the videos I make on this channel, most of the content and the ideas comes from you guys. What do you want in the next top 10 list. For do you want for the next believe life series. Right. All of these things come from you guys giving me suggestions, and saying hey, this video can be better. I like that intro. I don’t like that intro. Give me feedback on what I can improve.
Now I take all your feedback and criticism, and suggestions. And then I see, do I want to do that or not. Do I love it. Right. Make a top ten on this person. Make a series on this idea. You know. If I’m not connected to it, I’m not going to pick it. This is where we are playing our game.
We’re dancing right, you have two people in a dance. And that’s where you have to always be in harmony. Between what you really want to do and what the market wants as well. So the criticism and the feedback is super important to get that harmony happening.
The other thing that I want to talk about quickly, is one of my favorite quotes, and it’s from Quincy Jones. And we did an Entspresso on. And a top ten on it I think. Where he said, ‘Not one ounce of my self respect, comes from your opinion of me.’ And I think this is so important. Especially for the early stages of an entrepreneur.
“Criticism and the feedback is super important to get that harmony happening.” – Evan Carmichael
Because as you’re building your thing up you may have this big idea. That you maybe you don’t even really believe in yet either. Right. You want to be here, but you’re still playing down here. And you’re afraid. And you haven’t even convinced yourself that you’re ready to go there.
Let alone telling other people about it. And when you tell other people about your idea, they may laugh at you, they may make fun of you, they may tell you all the reasons why it’s not going to work. And so you are afraid to go and tell other people about what you are trying to do.
And you need to get help right, you need people to poke holes into your idea, and help you find the path. Because you can’t do everything yourself. And so, understand that, you’re going to get criticized. Some people will be really nice about it, and really constructive about it, and give you a positive message with it.
And some people won’t. Some people just tell you that it’s crap. And they will insult you over it. But it doesn’t mean that they don’t necessarily have a point. And you need to differentiate between a personal attack on you versus an attack on the idea, and how it can be better. And if somebody personally attacks you.
Who cares. Like, stop caring so much about what other people think about you. Not one ounce of my self respect comes from your opinion of me. You don’t like my top ten video. Okay. You know, I wrote a great book. I love the book. So far all the reviews of the book have been pretty good. But if you don’t like my book. Okay.
Like, it’s not for every single human being on this planet. And your negative thoughts around my book is not going to make me feel worse about myself. Or about the amazing piece of work that I created.
“Stop caring so much about what other people think about you.” – Evan Carmichael
And if you don’t like that I wear a hat sometimes. Or you don’t like my hoodie, or my T-shirt. Or think I should be in a suit. Or anything. It doesn’t impact me. I got to do me. I don’t care. And so learning to be able to handle that. To be able to take criticism, and not let it impact you on a personal self worth level.
And differentiate between, this can actually help me, make something better. And this is useless. Because you need to get to the point where you’re combining what you love doing. Your passion. Where you can be the best in the world at potentially. With what people want and you can add value to them. Mix these together. That’s a successful business.
So the question of the day today is, I am curious, how do you handle criticism?
What do you do? I’m curious what your thought process is. Leave it down in the comments below, I’m going to join in the discussion.
I also want to give a quick shoutout to Jonathan Lao. Jonathan thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book ‘Your One Word’. It really, really, really, really, means a lot to me.
So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself. And whatever your one word is. And I will see you again tomorrow morning for another shot, of Entspresso.
♫ I wake up every morning ♫ Entspresso keep me going
Evan: Hey guys, so I decided to add a couple extra bonus clips just for you around this topic of being able to handle criticism that I hope you will enjoy as a bonus.
There’s four things when somebody gives you feedback or criticism. However it is intended, whether it is ill or positive. And so one is, not to take it in, but to catch it. I think of it like a catchers mitt.
If you tell me something, and you come across this way. I’ll grab it. And I’m going to look at it, and I’ll think, okay. Is it true? If it’s true, cool I will put it in and learn from it. If I think it’s not true, cool, I will throw it away. No harm, no foul, I’m not going to dwell on it. Right.
And I think everybody needs this in this world. Because we’re all on, most of us are on social media, and we’re al getting like …
You know, all our thoughts are getting picked apart. You know, all the time. So we really need this more than ever. Then the third one is, you get it, and it’s a maybe. Well I’m not sure, you said this about me. I’m not sure. You know, what do you guys think? You know, what do you think?
“So the best feedback, like where you really grow, is you keep getting the same feedback.” – Neil Strauss
I’ll ask my friends, and I’ll ask other people and get some feedback, and if it’s true, cool, maybe I’ll learn from it. If everyone is like this is total nonsense, ignore that dude. I throw it out. But then there is a fourth one, and this where the real growth is. Do you know what the fourth one is?
Interviewer: I don’t.
The fourth one is, you get it. You throw it out. I’m talking to you, and maybe later I’m talking to, you know, you. I get it. And I’m like, nah, it’s not true. ,I throw it out. And then later I’m talking to someone else, I get it. It’s the third time it’s come back to me. I throw it out, I’m like wait. Maybe I got to take thing thing a little more seriously.
And it becomes a maybe. And then it becomes a yes. And that’s when the big growth thing is, because you kept ignoring this thing that was in your face. So the best feedback, like where you really grow, is you keep getting the same feedback. You keep dismissing it. At some point you say wait. Maybe they have something.
So, one way I do this is. I get together a group of people. And we sit together once a week. And talk a lot of stuff going on in our lives. I find group therapy really powerful. Because if it’s just one on one, I can just say I disagree with you.
But when four or five people are saying, hey dude, no your really coming off like that. Or your really having this problem in your relationship. Then maybe you need to look at it. And five people are saying it. Like it’s pretty hard to dismiss it.
In hip hop it’s like, yo he’s gay as –dog, like — that dude. Like you know what I mean. Like I just … Why don’t you like him? You know what, he can rap. He got a good story. His flows are cool. For sure. I just don’t like him though. Like and it’s so ignorant, it’s crazy. So, like yeah, years ago, you know what I’m saying. When I first got on blogs, and I’d be excited. I’d read comments. But now it’s just like, there’s no point to read comments.
Interviewer: Yeah, don’t read the comments.
“So for me, I don’t listen to the hate. I don’t listen to love too much. I just, you know. Take it all in stride. Like I love what I do. And as long as I can wake up everyday and feel that, I feel like I’m doing right.” – Logic
Yeah, it’s honestly. Yeah. It’s either too positive. Which can lead you to like be big headed. Or it’s too negative, which can make you try to create music to get them to stop hating on you. It’s like somebody being like, yeah, he should rap like this, he should rap like that. I don’t like the way he raps. And then the person changes up how they rap. To try to, you know, make that person like them. And then they’re like, man he ain’t even being himself. Like after you change … (host laughs) So it’s like you can’t win man.
You can’t win no matter what you do.
Interviewer: Right, for sure.
So for me, I don’t listen to the hate. I don’t listen to love too much. I just, you know. Take it all in stride. Like I love what I do. And as long as I can wake up everyday and feel that, I feel like I’m doing right.
Interviewer: Do you read criticism, of yourself?
No. I use to. I use to, and then I realized, it wasn’t helpful.
Interviewer: Positive or negative?
Interviewer: It’s just a distraction?
Yeah I can’t, I don’t look at anything anymore that’s written, whether it’s like interviews, or I mean …It’s just, it’s also just too much focus on yourself.
It’s like, I am far from the center of the world and I don’t need to like, I need to read about other things (Natalie laughs) There is a lot of really good things to read about and, I know about myself and, if someone makes a mistake about me I’m just going to get upset so …
Or if they say something negative I’m going to get upset And if they say something nice. That’s friendly but I also don’t need to care. Like I don’t need to base my sense of self on what strangers opinions of me are, like, it’s important to me that my friends, my family, you know, think that I’m behaving correctly. And, they will let me know If I’m out of line and, and everyone else’s opinions like, You know. It’s not my business.