Influence - 3 magic words!

Three Magic Words

By Andrew Bryant

Do you need to influence someone today?

You might want to sell them a product or service or influence them to work harder or more effectively. You might just want to influence them to go out with you tonight.

As discussed in a previous article people are motivated and driven by what they value and so if you know what’s important to them then you can influence them to move towards what they value or away from what they don’t.

This article is about three magic words that you can use to construct an influential statement that will be compelling to the listener.

Research in psycho-neuro-immunology has shown that all conscious processes, emotions and behavior are a result of the focus of attention. Using the following ‘magic’ three words when used in conjunction with the listener’s value will focus attention, emotions and behaviour.

The words are:

 Realise

 Understand

 Aware

“I’m sure you are aware of the importance of directing the listener’s focus and as you understand how to use this information you will realise where and when you can use it.”

Say the above sentence aloud and notice how highly influential it is.

The sentence structure is as follows: …aware of value A ….understand value A or value B …realise emotion/behaviour X.

It is not necessary to use the magic words in this order or even all of them, they can be mixed in any order, and work just as long as you include at least one value and the emotion/behaviour you want to influence.

For example if wanted you to feel excited about learning something new from reading this article I could say:

“As you understand the power of the three magic words you will realise that you have learned something significant from this article and become aware of your growing excitement at how you can use them.”

The three magic words work best in spoken language, when you are in rapport with the listener. To understand this and become aware of how they can effectively influence I invite you to have somebody read to you the following paragraph.

“As a reader of the this newsletter, you understand the importance of staying up to date with the latest information on communication, coaching, sales and leadership and yet I’m not sure whether or not you are aware of how powerful it is to attend a training where you can practice these skills, and if you may not realise that it is possible to have Self Leadership International customise a training for your organisation. Many successful companies have realised that to get the results they desire they really need to understand influential communication and are aware that SLI is a company that specialises in delivering this.”

Of course you are aware that this is a blatant plug but if you are even a little bit curious about any of our trainings why not contact us ( to find out how we can work together.


Andrew Bryant is the director of Self Leadership International, a coaching and training organisation that works with individuals and multi-national companies to improve their communication, leadership and sales. Andrew is a master trainer of NLP and hypnosis and had developed trainings that allow participants to use ethical and effective persuasion stategies in their work and life.

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