Successful Living Part 6 - My Reactions are My Life

A few years ago I was attending a seminar where the key guest speaker was a 85 year old lady who had spend time in a German Concentration camp. She was exuding vitality, looking younger then her years and had a lovely sense of humor. Her story was moving– she clearly had been through hell and back.

At the end of her talk I was curious – how did she manage to go on this after experience, to get married, live a happy, fulfilled life and still have a sense of humor?

When it was time for questions I raised my hand and asked her.

She looked at me for a moment and then she said: "I was very lucky you see. At an early age I learned one of the key lesson for life. I learned that MY Reactions are My Life, that I have to accept things and people as they are. I understood that I could have a crappy life or a happy life and that it was largely up to me. I wanted to be happy at all cost.'

She left a deep impression on me. Of course soon I forgot the wisdom of her words...until a few years later. I had just moved in with my Now husband and we were at this stage where you know each other well enough to get irritated by some of the other persons behaviour. Have you ever noticed – Often we are much kinder with strangers then we are with people close to us.

I think it’s because we feel safe with our partners, friends and family. Steven, my husband is very laid back and can be very quiet. I started to develop a pattern of feeling irritated when he was too quiet in our friend's company. I was getting more and more obsessive about this and upset which of course would upset him. I was like a hawk, watching his every word .

Then when we argued about it. Afterwards I would feel bad for making him feel miserable. One day I was sharing my frustration with a friend. She looked at me and said: What are you doing? Let him be Himself and Start to accept HIM as he is. It’s the only way to be happy.

I realized she was Right. All I wanted was to be happy and THAT WAS HOW TO DO IT –

I had to Accept the other people as they are – and I started with accepting Steven and his way. Now when we go out I am relaxed and so is he and we are both the happier for it.

Happiness requires a certain Behaviour – and we can all start by doing things that make other people happy.

Our Reactions are our Life and I HAVE COME TO UNDERSTAND that our Reactions are also our family, our health, our work, our experiences, our community.

with my best wishes,

Christiane Pohl

More Life, More Success Coaching

Author:. Christiane specialises in coaching Executives and their teams with managing change, achieving their objectives and developing their soft skills for lasting success.She is an EMCC accredited Leadership Coach & Mentor with a professional background of over 25 years experience as Senior Manager in internat... Go Deeper | Website

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