Smart Women Give Themselves Permission

Recently, I was having a conversation with a woman when she asked me a crucial question: “What are the steps I need to take in order to live a life filled with passion and purpose?” It’s really a 3 part process. When a woman is ready to create her own extraordinary life, she needs to first decide what she wants. Then she needs to decide how she wants to design her life. Finally, she needs to give herself permission to have the life she has chosen. It’s essential that she believes that she deserves to have the life she chooses. If you decide what you want your life to look like but do not believe that you should really have it, then your “dreams” will never become a reality.

My work is designed to support women in their journey to living their own extraordinary life. Years ago, I knew that I wanted to make some big changes in my own life. I had to first decide what I wanted. Then I had to design my life how I wanted it to be. Lastly, but crucial, I had to give myself permission to create this new way of being. You have to believe it so you can ask for it. This can be a challenging part for women in the process. Once they begin to visualize what they want, they may have trouble asking for it. Who do you need to ask? You have to communicate to those who matter most to you what you want in your life--what changes you desire. Your spouse, partner, children, co-workers, boss, employees, family, and friends. We become fearful in the asking process. We begin to question whether we “deserve” this. It’s very easy to make our needs secondary, to be comfortable and stay in the place where we are caring and nurturing others—helping others reach their goals. When I decided to begin my coaching work, my husband Greg needed to take on more of the activities with the children and this was a process for us.

There comes a time when you will begin to feel a calling to create more of what you prefer in your own life. It does not mean that you do not love and care for all of those people who mean so much to you. It’s a signal that the time has come for you to embrace more of who you uniquely are.

How about you? Do you feel like you know what you want but sometimes feel like it’s not achievable based on your current situation? Do you have a dream or goal but you aren’t quite sure that you deserve to have the time to make it happen? This is where a good mentor or coach can support you in making a plan that fits into your current lifestyle.

There is a great book that compliments my work with women. It’s called “Ask For It” by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. I met Linda a few years ago at the Harvard Women’s Leadership Conference and was very impressed with her work. You can go to to learn more about the book. It’s a great resource that gives you a process and tools to use in learning how to ask for what you want in life once you determine what you want.

You really do deserve to have the life you want. All you have to do is decide what you want and how you want to design it and then give yourself permission to make it happen.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.



Joy Chudacoff is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions®, a Professional Certified Coach and Motivational Speaker. A highly skilled group leader and business consultant, Joy has helped scores of women design the lives they choose to live. Helping women realize and achieve better ways of living is her passion, her purpose, and her business. As a wife and mother of two, Joy understands there is more to life than one's career. Like many women who are drawn to entrepreneurship, she inhabits ...

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