Fear

It is impossible to remove all Fear from our lives. Fear is a natural emotion and we are all human – It is normal and natural to experience some degree of fear in our lives. We can feel fear for many different reasons including the following:

• Fear of doing something new

• Fear of the future

• Fear that we are not good enough

• Fear of change

• Fear of ending a relationship / job

• Fear of other people

It is impossible to state a definitive list of fears as we are all different. What one person feels fear about – another person may embrace and feel excitement about.

However, the key when we feel fear is to try and be at peace with your fears. When we experience fear – it is often because we are going through some change in our lives. Your life is changing and different things and opportunities are taking place. The key is to embrace these fears – try not to resist the change. Do not hold onto the life you know just because it is familiar. It is often more frightening to stay ‘stuck’ than it is to move forward. Fear often means that ‘the bag of life is being shaken up’ – the foundations are shaking! You are opening up to a new and exciting future. Try and embrace and be at peace with your fears – Don’t stuff them down as they will always pop up again! Let’s look at the example of relationships. If you have a fear of being lonely or single for the rest of your life – this can keep you stuck in your fear and scared to move forward. You are stuck in your fears. However, what is scarier? Starting a relationship or never really trying? The key is to take action even if you feel scared.

The fears we hold are often held sub consciously and it is good to unravel them. Looking at the example of relationships again, ask yourself, what is underneath the fear of being single? Are you afraid that if you change you will have to give something up? Are you afraid of giving up time on your own? Stepping out of your comfort zone? Scared of being rejected? Scared of dating?

These fears can drive us away from making changes. They can keep us stuck. Don’t fear the uncomfortable of changing – nurture and love your fears. Acknowledge them and soothe yourself. Acknowledge that you are human and fear is normal! Fear is just a part of life! Use the Fear….don’t let it use you! Take action even if you feel scared. To quote ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. ( Susan Jeffers)

Love yourself even with Fear. One of the most important things in life is to love yourself even if you feel scared. Let the fears come up – take time to acknowledge and soothe your fears. What would you tell a small child who was feeling scared? Would you encourage her? Soothe her? Tell her everything will be ok? Or would you do what as adults we do to ourselves – beat ourselves up for being scared, suppress your fears and tell yourself that you are wrong to feel like you do.

For the next week, make a commitment to love yourself no matter what is going on in your life. Allow yourself to nurture your fears and support yourself through your fears. Try saying the mantra ‘I am the antidote to fear’.

If you feel scared about a certain situation, write down all your fears and worries into a journal and then ask yourself ‘what can I do to love and support myself anyway’.

Remember…you are worth it!

Author:.

Lisa Phillips is an award winning Life and Confidence Coach based in Sydney Australia.  She is also the author of ' The Confidence Coach' book ( www.theconfidencecoachbook.com)   Lisa appears regulary on TV and radio and her work is featured in a wide range of international magazines. 

For more information, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au

 

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