Self Care

When we experience situations or people in our life which upset us, or perhaps we are taking a risk in a new area of our life, or we simply make a mistake in our everyday lives, how nice would it feel if we know, what ever the outcome, we will support and take care of ourselves.

One of the biggest fears in life, that people often carry, is the fear of Rejection. Having this fear, can prevent us from taking risks in our lives, trying something new, applying for a new job or simply asking out that person for coffee that you have had our eye on for a while! The fear of rejection can stop us from living a fulfilling and joyous life. However, I believe that is not so much Rejection that you may fear, but what you make it mean about YOU.

For example, if you finally pluck up the courage to ask someone out on a date, and they refuse your offer, what thoughts run through you mind? Do you make the rejection mean that you are not good enough? Do you make it mean that you are not attractive, loveable or interesting enough? The fact is, it is not the rejection itself which causes us the most pain, but what we actually make the rejection mean about us!

Imagine if you had committed to ‘self care’ in your relationships NO MATTER what happened? How would your thoughts be different if you had committed to really taking care of yourself? If this was your commitment, chances are you would praise yourself for being brave and taking a risk, and self soothe yourself that you are still wonderful, good enough and loveable. You would understand that the rejection is not all about you, but just an indication that this was not the right person for you. In actual fact, there is no such thing as rejection – only the wrong fit!

If you practice self care, it will also enable you to step forward into many fearful situations as you know, you are not going to beat yourself up if things don’t go your way! Good self care requires being selfish and positive, in a self nurturing way. It also means that you will refuse to feel bad about yourself, feel guilty or beat yourself up. It means that you are willing to put your needs above the never ending stream of demands from the outside world.

Here are a few Self care ideas that you can practise on a daily basis:

1) Promise yourself, that whatever happens, you are going to speak positively to yourself and self soothe with nurturing and encouraging worlds. ( A good idea is to speak to yourself like you would a child)

2) If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, give yourself permission to sit down and relax for ten minutes.

3) Praise yourself!

4) Make a list of 50 things you enjoy doing and make sure you do one thing every day

5) Write a list of the things you like about yourself, and read this list every day

6) Give yourself permission to make mistakes – you are only human!

7) Eat healthy foods and get regular exercise. Get plenty of sleep

8) Take time off when sick

9) Learn to say ‘ No’ to others

10) Look in the mirror every day and state ‘I Love you (Your name)’

Enjoy the positive changes these tasks will bring into your life!


Lisa Phillips is an award winning Life and Confidence Coach based in Sydney Australia.  She is also the author of ' The Confidence Coach' book (   Lisa appears regulary on TV and radio and her work is featured in a wide range of international magazines. 

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