Clearing the Selfish People Out of Your Life

We live our lives in contact with many other people. Humans are social animals and regular interaction is what gives us our energy.

Yet there are times when, for one reason or another, we find ourselves regularly close to people who have little or no shared interest in others. Those people who could easily be described as 'It's all about me' and the impact on you can be dramatic, causing your help and wellbeing to suffer.

And this damage can be both physical as well as mental, where you start to show signs of illness simply because of the devastating effects such selfish people can have as they squeeze you dry of the wonderful person you are.

You can easily identify these frustrating folk by the way they are almost uninterested in anything you do. They talk about themselves much more than they listen to anything you have to say and even when you do offer a helping thought or two, they are so engrossed in themselves that they throw that back at you too!

They suck the energy from the relationship like a fire without air. Leaving you high and dry in the interaction between the two of you.

In William Byham's famous book on teambuilding, 'Zapp: The Lightening of Empowerment', he describes these people as 'Sapps' where their attitude; their demeanour and their character simply sours any engagement they have with others.

Selfish people are - wait for this - a choice you make in your decisions of who to let into - or exclude - from your life. Making a decision to step away from them will lighten up your life and give you energy back. There are far more people to spend your time with if you want to build constructive and collaborative relationships.

Sure, great friendships are those where we help others out. But when the traffic is all one way, it will only bring you down.

So, what's it to be. Only you can decide. Are you going to let those selfish people suck your energy away from you for the rest of your life, or will you take the first vital step in getting much healthier relationships in place, so you can, from now on, start to thrive.


© 2013 Martin Haworth is a business and management coach and trainer, working worldwide with SMEs & corporates and based in the UK. He has extensive experience in the delivery of one- and two-day training programs on a whole range of tactical management skills to be found at the workshops we do as well...

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