Star Wars brought us Yoda. Lets examine two quotes by Yoda:
Do or do not. There is no try.
Named must your fear be before banish it you can.
There is a reason why people dont fulfill their promises, reach their goals, and accomplish their objectives. There is a reason why people quit. There is purpose in their choices. Its not that they cannot, but rather that they WILL not. For example, when someone tells you, I dont have time, they mean that they have afforded something else, some other action, a higher priority. They have the time; you are just not important enough to warrant that time. When they say they cannot do something, they really mean that they will not. They choose not to. I will TRY really means, I am not going to do this and I am putting you on notice that I will not. I dont want to confront you, so I am making this excuse in advance. That is why Yoda said, Do or do not. There is no try. Try to walk. Ridiculous, isnt it? Yet we use this pathetic excuse daily.
Most of the time, people avoid things they fear. They are afraid to admit that they dont want to attend your boring party or seminar, so they say, I will try to attend or, I dont have time. If you offered them a hundred thousand dollars to show up, do you honestly think they would say, I dont have time, or I dont know how to get there? Perhaps you should test them next time They make excuses because theyre afraid of confronting you or their own laziness, or being embarrassed. That is why it is important for us to get in touch with our fears. Many people fear the implications and consequences of success. Yoda said, Named must your fear be before banish it you can.
When we tie these two Yodic sayings together, we conclude that most of the choices that most people make are based on fear. Do you want to work with weak, fearful people? People who will lie, manipulate and backstab, because they dont have the guts to face reality and themselves? Can you rely on those people? Let us look for the simple clues that clearly reveal whether people are winners or losers. When we see the evidence, we have a choice, whether to work with them or not to. There are three simple clues to look for:
Clue number one: People who will not commit. They say they will try. They make excuses in advance. They wait until the last minute. They look for a way out. They do not say, I will be there, whatever it takes, you can depend on me. Guaranteed. It is my highest priority. Instead, they say, Ill do my best to be there. Ill see what my schedule looks like. Ill try. If I can. What they really mean is, I am looking for a better option, or I am looking for an excuse. TRY and IF are the words of a loser.
Clue number two: People who Make excuses. The weather. The traffic. The government. The dog. They dont say, I fell asleep / I forgot / I was lazy / it wasnt a priority for me.
Clue number three: Patterns. Look at the pattern of behavior that someone shows you. That pattern is either the pattern of a winner or a loser; its that simple. People who regularly show up late for appointments are often concealing passive aggression. If they have let you down six times in the last six months, perhaps you should get the message; If it gobbles, it aint no eagle, Earline. They have a track record of keeping their word or not.
Lets remember Yodas lessons. When we let others down, let us examine our fears. Let us be straightforward, honest, and brief. When we look for the three clues and find them, let us make choices based on the fact that losers cannot make you successful. Surround yourself with people who keep their word and believe in themselves. Fearless, congruent behavior is the hallmark of an eagle.