Famous Entrepreneur Quotes
Matthew Hussey’s Quotes
“Do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”
“If I want to start a business, I might actually need to know what the hell I’m doing. It’s not enough to have confidence in life. You have to have competence. ”
“You actually, the way to stand out in today’s world is vulnerability.”
Matthew Hussey’s Top 10 Entrepreneurship Rules For Business and Success
To help you on your journey, today we’re going to learn from TV personality and New York Times bestselling author, Matthew Hussey and my take on his top ten rules to success.
Rule #1: Just Do It!
There is a phrase that I want everyone to write down. Voltaire said do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Just start, make it okay, then make it good then when it’s good, make it great, then when it’s great, make it extraordinary.
John Ruskin, a famous architectural critic said there is a difference between effort and intelligent effort. Well that’s absolutely true but it doesn’t start with intelligent effort. You get intelligent effort by putting in effort in the first place.
You learn what to say to someone. When you go up to someone and you make a mistake and then you get feedback and then you adjust but you don’t learn from sitting on the bench. You learn from doing it. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. So, in the beginning, don’t be afraid to lower your standards in order to raise them.
Rule #2: Take Risks
A guy shows up. He’s an English guy who manages the the company across all of Asia and Europe. So this guy, he’s a big guy, right? He’s an important guy. He shows up at the office.
As he’s walking through the office and I always have my radar on in business. I’ve always got my radar on for like, who do I need to meet? Who’s important for me to meet right now?
And when I was there, I saw this guy walking through the office and I thought, this guy is important for me to meet. I know that, I know that by the way everyone else is treating him. So he walked through and as he walked through he said to me, listen can I have someone experienced who knows the retail sector around Shanghai and could show me around?
Now, I’ve been there one week. One week. It didn’t even occur to me that I shouldn’t do it. I just thought, yep, I’ll show you around. What do you need to see? And he said well, he said I need to see all the different malls and all the different shopping sectors and so on. I said yeah, let’s do it.
He said, brilliant. So before anyone even had a chance to talk and I said it quietly enough that no one else would really hear ’cause I knew the more experienced guys would look at me and go, what the hell is he doing? Like this was a managing director of half the world and I’d been there a week.
So he said alright come on then, let’s go. On my way out, ’cause in China, if you don’t know the characters, you can’t even get cab anywhere ’cause it’s not like you can write the name down in English and show it to the cab driver.
You’ve got even know the characters so I had to go to one of the guys in the office, not tell him why I needed this information but it’s go, yeah, listen, what’s the main shopping center in China? And he goes, well you can go to this one over here.
I started talking about things.
That’s fine, that’s fine. So I took this, I gave it to the cab driver. He’ve ritten it down for me in the characters. I showed it to him, the cab driver took us there. Me and this guy, we started walking around and he was talking about, so what are the yields around this area?
And I was making it up as I was going along. I was just saying it, right? And he’s, that’s really interesting, it’s really interesting. We were walking around and looking at these different shops and so on and he says, so is this kind of the main street and I went yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s all happening here. You don’t need to go anywhere else and he was yeah, yeah, hes really into it and we started talking.
I started asking him more about himself and the business back home and so on. And it got to the point where by the end of probably two hours of walking around and not seeing any of the retail.
We just started chatting in a really friendly way and he said, you know what? We could really use someone like you. And immediately my brain lights up and he goes, what do you think of the office here in China? I’ve been there one week. He goes, just give me your honest opinion on the characters at the office. Well, Peter, you know. I started talking about things.
I didn’t know anything but I was in that position where I thought, you know what? My character, my personality is going to bring me through this. And sometimes in business, you have to have that.
That thing of you know what? I don’t know everything I need to know but I know my personality or my character is going to carry me through this. And I got to the end of this situation and he flew back home and I got a call from him and he said listen, when you finish in China, come and see the HR department with me because I don’t want you to go through the graduate scheme back home, I want you to just, you can come and work under me, right?
So immediately, my brain lights up again. I’m like, wow. I don’t have to go through the normal channel, I can just go and work directly under this guy. So I’m thinking this is incredible. This is like I fast tracked everything.
And then I learnt that you should take a risk. If you see someone you need to meet, go meet them and let your personality shine, let your personality do the talking even if your knowledge can’t.
Rule #3: Start With Mild Interest
Caller: I was wondering because I’m a college student but I think it can apply to anyone. So, I was wondering like how to go about finding your passion in life and then what steps you can take to make sure you’re successful with what you’re passionate about?
What do you think could be an issue with trying to locate your passion? In fact, what issue you’re having right now as you’re trying to find your passion?
Caller: Well, in college they give us so many things that like require that we have to take so there’s a lot of things that I like to do but I don’t know one thing that I really want to do. Like I’m trying to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life and it’s kind of confusing.
Yeah, absolutely and if you phrase it like that, it will be an impossible endeavor. and that’s the problem is of course, you answered your own question which is you have many interest.
You have many things that you’re into. So the idea of finding your one true passion is near enough impossible because the truth is 99.9% of people don’t have one true passion. They’re passionate about many different things in life. When I started out, I didn’t start by saying, know what? I’m going to be really passionate in my life, for the rest of my life about coaching women how to flirt.
That definitely was not where I started. So I started from a base point of saying, okay I know that there are certain criteria I have for the way I want my life to be. I know that as I get older, I want to get more autonomy over my work. In other words I want to have more control. I knew that I wanted something that over time, gave me flexibility.
I knew that I had something that would, I wanted something that would give me some level of financial independence. These were criteria I had. I also knew that in some way I thought it would be interesting to work with people but if you think about those criteria, I could meet those doing a thousand different things.
Search for your one true passion
There was no need for me to meet those doing coaching, let’s say. I could’ve met those, let’s say being in radio. I never started out knowing that I would be in radio but I just ended up doing something in radio because it allows me flexibility.
I get to move around, I get to do it in different locations, I get to work with people like yourself, I get the creativity that I seek but I can get that from many different things. I also get that from public speaking, I get it from coaching, I even get that just from business.
So the point is that you trying to search for your one true passion is a complete waste of time because rarely, when you hear people talk about what they ended up doing and being passionate about, do you ever hear them say that that’s where they started and that’s where they thought they would end up?
So, you can be interested in lots of different things. My advice to you is this. The only thing you need to worry about right now is starting somewhere that you have a mild interest in. That’s it.
You don’t need to be crazy in love with it. Just have a mild interest in that thing. Start with something you find interesting. What do you find interesting? Can you give me two or three things?
Caller: I really like to travel and like learn about the world.
Okay so you like to travel, you like to learn about the world, anything else? What do you like or what did you study? What parts of what you studied did you enjoy?
Caller: I’m studying advertising so I do like working with people too and kind of the psychology of people and stuff like that.
Okay great. So that opens up the world to you now. There are many different things you can do and by the way, travel, even though it’s something you enjoy it, it might be something that you build towards, it might be something that later on you get the chance to do it, it might even be something you earn the right to be able to do through doing the work that you start to get good at. But this first step is find something that you have a mild interest in.
Rule #4: You Have To Have Competence
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Bridget Jones but there’s a line in Bridget Jones where forget his name, Colin Firth I think it is, he’s looking at Bridget and he’s, I think he says I love, exactly how you are, I love you. Like no changes, nothing. I love you exactly how you are and sometimes we feel like we’re ode that and it kind of becomes an excuse again.
Interviewer: To be lazy?
To grow. Not to, you know, I don’t. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter what you think your ode in love. No one cares.
Interviewer: I think the same thing with work and the people are entitled and they think it’s just their job.
Yeah and so the biggest criticism I get all the time which I’m happy with as a criticism of my advice, is well why do you need to do all of this stuff? Why can’t you just go through life and and you know, when the time is right, you’ll know.
But why do you have to do all of these techniques? I’m happy with that criticism. If that’s what you think, you’re not my audience because my audience are the same people that go to a business seminar to make more money. They’re the same people that say you know what? If I want to start a business, I might actually need to know what the hell I’m doing. It’s not enough to have confidence in life. You have to have competence. You have to actually know what you’re doing.
Rule #5: Seize Every Opportunity
I came here and I was eating breakfast in the hotel this morning and the guy said, how do I get to London? I’ve always wanted to go and work in London. Like I grew up in London and I how do I get to America? How do I get somewhere else?
And I grew up thinking, I would love to work in the States. And I remember thinking, how the hell am I ever going to make this a reality? Now when I started, I have decided I want to book. I just need to go there for a reason.
If I could go there for a reason then I’d feel like something was happening there. And so in the beginning, all I did was call someone up and say, hey, do you want to interview me? And they didn’t even really know who I was and I said well I do this, this and this and they went, yeah okay.
I mean we’ll interview you for one. And was like, there was no money involved, it was just an interview. So then, after that interview, I said, I thought well, what should I do about this? Because this interview, I know they now think it’s on the phone and so I said to them, I want to do this interview and they said, well we can do it by phone, it’s no problem and I said well, where are you? And they were like New York.
I said well, you know what? I’m actually in the area around about that time so I can probably just shoot over while I’m there. I had no reason to be there. No reason whatsoever. But I suddenly booked flights on a quick interview that is unpaid which is insane when you think about it. Completely insane. Especially since didn’t even need to be there but I knew I wanted to work here in some capacity.
So then, I know that I’m now flying there. So what that does to my head is it says, you’ve got to find more quality reasons to be there, otherwise, this is going to be ridiculous. So I go, well I could I mean, I think of someone I know who runs events in the US and I go, listen, I’m going to be in New York, why don’t you put on an event and I’ll speak at it? And he thought about it and he went, yeah okay.
It’s now happening.
So suddenly, he starts promoting an event. I have, before long, a hundred people in that event. Now, I’m doing a seminar in New York and I’m doing this show. And on the show I’m like, you know, well, I was doing this seminar here and I thought while I’m here, I would, you know, do your show and then they said, well we have this other show on Sunday, why don’t you come and speak on that?
I go okay. So now, I have a show on a Friday, a seminar on Saturday and another one on Sunday. Suddenly, this weekend in New York is looking pretty productive. I was in New York one day and I woke up and I was walking down the street. It was beautiful sunny day and I’m listening to music and I can actually feel myself getting emotional because all I can think of is, I’m not supposed to be here.
Like, this happened out of nowhere. I’m not supposed to be here and it’s happening. It’s now happening. When I was first introducing the idea of retreats into what I do. It’s always my dream to run a retreat. To say, you know what? I’m going to do a retreat where we transform every single part of people’s lives. We remove every part of their emotional block, we remove their confidence issues they’ve had for life and we get in their head about everything they want from their life and we strategize it.
Now in my head at that time, it was like, well we can do these in London. But I knew that would bore me. So I was like, I want to go somewhere. Where do I want to go? Where would be my dream to go and run an event like this? I go okay, well, we could do one in Florida. Now at the time, that was ridiculous. The idea of it was ridiculous. There were so many reasons why it was impractical.
There were so many reasons why we shouldn’t do it. But then, I started calling people up and saying, hey, we’ve got this event coming up. It’s in Florida. Every person that spoke to me and said, have you got like, they would come on my weekend and they’d love the weekend and at the end of it they go, is this something, is there a next level? Is there somewhere else I can go after this? I said, well we’re actually doing one in Florida.
We have to do everything.
Now, It didn’t exist yet but I wanted to see if people would respond to it. All I needed was one person to respond to it and say I’d be interested and I got one person. So I booked the event. I booked my flights, I booked the villa, I said I’m going to do it even if I get one person on it, I have done a retreat in Florida. So I accepted the worst case. The worst case is that I just get this one person on it and that’s it.
But I’ve now done it. That was the first time we ever did it and we sold out every single one of the places. But I had to start by accepting that if I can just do more stuff in the area where I want more stuff, more stuff will happen. Why am I at this event today? Because I couldn’t fly to England for a one-hour thing. In those early days, I’d have been here for this event, by the way.
It didn’t matter, I could I would have paid him to come and speak at this event. In the early days, I’d have called him up and I’d have said, how much can I pay you to come speak with your event? Right? Because I didn’t care. I knew that if I did stuff in an area where I wanted more stuff, more stuff would happen in that area. Now, I happen to be in Orlando at the same time as this conference is being held.
I say, okay, I’ll do this conference and you know what will happen? From this stuff, more stuff. More stuff will come from this stuff and that’s the way life works. Just choose an area where you want more stuff and more stuff will happen in that area but take any opportunity even if it seems ridiculous. Take any meeting, take any phone call, explore every avenue.
When you’re starting out, every single avenue has to be explored. We cannot afford to be too proud to say, oh no, that’s not really something that I’m interested in. Oh, I might not go anywhere. We have to do everything. Everything.
When I look back now, alongside the one or two things that really got me a lot more stuff, there are a bunch of things that I look back on, I go oh my god, that’s embarrassing. No, that was ridiculous. I can’t believe I did that, I can’t leave I went there but the combination of everything is what got me here. Just doing stuff.
Rule #6: Use Vulnerability To Stand Out
Interviewer: I do often wonder if people feel so much pressure in the online dating world to tout their accomplishments that they forget, it gets back to kind that, why you are who you are?
It also is kind of stupid because you can’t stand out that way anymore, right? You actually, the way to stand out in today’s world is vulnerability. Vulnerability is extraordinarily rare.
It’s rare on TV, it’s rare on YouTube, it’s rare on Instagram, it’s rare profiles, it’s rare everywhere. And so if you can drop the shopping list. I hate when people say, I’m really loving, I’m this, I’m that, I’m close to family, I’m what, I always say show don’t tell.
So if you if you talk to me, if you’re funny, don’t tell me you’re funny, say something funny, right? If you’re loving, don’t tell me you’re loving, tell me your favorite idea of a day off is to hang out with your sister who’s your best friend. Tell me something that shows me you’re loving ’cause the shopping list, no one buys it anymore.
Rule #7: Let Them Hate
I were making a point about it being terrible to get rejected. And it’s not terrible to get rejected. That’s part of life. Like there are going to be some people who’ll hate this video. That’s okay. Let them hate. No one’s that love. That’s great, they’ll come back for the next one but it doesn’t matter. You’re not trying to please everyone. You’re trying to please the people that you actually want to be with long-term.
Look at it another way, ultimately the only people you want to be with the long term, that people that adore you. So it doesn’t really matter. The rejection is irrelevant. We’re not trying to attract the whole world. If you’re trying to attract the whole world, you are a narcissistic lunatic.
Rule #8: Find The Right Role Models
Man: I was thinking about what you were saying about following rituals of people are a little above you. My experience in the past has been that if I follow people who are little above me and I don’t choose carefully, I’ll end up with people who tell me that things can’t be done, right? So somebody who may be a little above me will say well, you can only do as well as I’m doing. You can’t do blah, blah, blah. I think, I want to do something, they say you can’t do that and I have to ignore that. And then maybe look at somebody who’s higher up and to realize that they’re full or something like that. Do you know what I mean?
Absolutely. It’s a really great question. What you have to remember is that everyone you model who’s a little bit above you is only a little bit above you because they still have their own limitations.
But you’re not modeling them in areas where they haven’t gone yet. You’re only modeling them in areas where they’ve already got to. So the key is you model them to the point that they’ve arrived at and nothing more. Not one step further than that ’cause if you go one step further than that, your victim to their beliefs. Now, well here’s what will happen.
I’ve been fortunate enough that one of my biggest mentors has always only been two to five steps ahead of me. So, but here’s the thing. We’ll he keeps going. The beauty for me is that he keeps keeping pace with me. So every time I get another couple of steps bigger, he spent that time getting another couple of steps bigger.
So the frustration for me in a good way is that I’ll model him and I’ll go alright, I’m here. And then he’ll be over there and I’ll be like, oh, for god’s sake. Alright, so now I’ll model him again and he’ll be over there and he’ll keep going.
He is still five steps ahead of me and it drives me crazy so I keep going. The best scenario you want in life is someone who keeps ahead of you. Not someone you catch up with but naturally what will happen is some people, you’ll get to their level and they won’t keep growing. So what you have to then realize is that I’ve got it, alright. I’ve taken everything I can from this person, time to move on.
Attendee: Right, I guess yeah. I guess it’s just you have to have a belief that you could go really, really, high.
Yeah, but in a way.
Attendee: One thing you could get from somebody who’s really up there is that you can get places.
I want to thank you for saying that. Here’s a point I should have made. This person is not good for strategy but they are great for inspiration. That make sense? This person is not good for strategy but use them for inspiration.
So when you look at them, look at them and go, oh my god. One day I want to be there but don’t model their strategy. Use them for inspiration, model the person directly in front of you for strategy and I say that relatively because you could get someone ten steps in front and it would still be great. But the further in front they are, the harder it is to get them.
Whereas someone who’s directly in front of you will likely allow you to get close and when it comes to your peer group and the people you want to be around in life, proximity is power. So you need to be around people you can get closest to.
Focus on providing value. Focus on being amazing for whoever it is that employs you or for whatever it is you do you, need to bring value to the table because ultimately, that’s always going to be the thing that allows you the flexibility to do what you want to do.
Whenever people start by saying, for example, a typical person might say, well I want to travel and I want to work with people so I’m going to start a lifestyle blog and I’m going to travel around blogging and meeting people and then they end up broke in six months and they have to come home.
Then it’s not a productive way to start. You have to start by giving value, by providing value and the only way to provide value is to get really good at something. I have found in my life that it’s more important to get good at something than to continuously worry and labor over what to get good at.
Get good at something ’cause guess what? When you get good at something, people will start taking notice of you and when people start taking notice of you, here’s what they’ll do in their mind.
They’ll go ah, Remi’s good at this thing so I bet she’s good at that thing as well and they’ll start to give you opportunities you never even imagined could come to you because what matters is credibility. Not credibility in just one way.
The credibility that can be attained by being successful in the thousands of different ways that one can become successful. So I don’t want you to worry continuously about which mountain to climb. I just want you to start climbing.
Rule #10: Have Fun
Thank you guys so much! I made this because Homan asked me to. If there’s someone you like be the profile in our future top ten, please let me know.
I also want to give a quick shout out to Sanyi. Thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word. I’m so happy that you found your one word as well and I hope you’re applying it to your life and your business and you’ve seen results.
Thank you again for the support and I hope you have a great week. Thank you guys again, I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is much love. I’ll see you soon.
Learn To Sell
There is a massive conflict between getting good at what you do, getting good at your passion and getting good at benefiting from that passion. There’s a conflict I’ll explain.
And by the way, I want to preface this talk by saying there are people out there who are far more wealthy than I to listen to on this subject. I am humbled by the fact that I’m speaking to you about this subject and I certainly don’t profess to be someone who knows everything about business. I’ve created a business that many people would love to be able to create in the time that they live and I’m very proud of that.
But I come to you today not standing here to be an expert on all things business. I come to you as someone who actually feels humbled by the process of trying to get good at that. Because I found it to be one of the most challenging areas of my entire life and I want to show you some of the mistakes that I’ve made and share with you some of the things that I’ve learned along the way.
I found that there was a big conflict between my passion and the ability to produce from that passion. A big conflict. Because when I started out and I see this pattern now in many people who have a passion. You see in people who start a business ’cause they’re passionate about creating something.
You see people who are passionate because they’re a personal trainer and they love training, they love or they are a nutritionist and they love nutrition but now they’ve got to go out and actually produce from it.
Now the set of skills that it takes to get good at your passion can be very different from the set of skills that it takes to sell and market that passion. And often, people who are passionate about something ironically, find it difficult to sell it.
It’s funny because what we say is that the most passionate salespeople are the best salespeople, isn’t that true? The most passionate salespeople are the best salespeople. If I’m passionate, I can sell, you know why? Because I believe in it. Like I can stand here in front of you for the next hour and sell every one of my programs to you and I won’t be ashamed.
I can stand here and do it every minute and I could sell hard and I would still be proud of what it is I’m selling. And in that respect, you should be passionate about what you’re selling. However, many people who are passionate about something aren’t good at selling it. And the reason is they don’t see themselves as salespeople. They don’t see themselves as salespeople.
Passionate about personal training.
I believe in mentors in life. I get mentors in every area of my life. One area I get a mentor is in my body. So I’ve had it preferred some time now, different personal trainers who work with me on my body and a pattern that I’ve noticed in the personal trainers that I’ve worked with is they are not good at selling themselves. This isn’t true of every trainer but the fact is they got into personal training because they were passionate about personal training.
Only to think of an area that you’re passionate about that one day maybe you dream of having a business there. Maybe you already have, maybe you’ve already started on this road. And think of the passion that you have and whether you truly see yourself alongside that as a salesperson. Because if you start a business, you are now a salesperson.
And that’s a difficult thing for many people to reconcile because if I’m a trainer, if I’m a personal trainer, I love personal training that’s what I do. I’m a personal trainer. I’m not a salesperson and many people look down on salespeople. Many people look down on salespeople, like that’s a bottom of the barrel job. I’m not a salesperson. I’m not one of those marketers.
I’m not a salesperson. Well the truth is there’s never a time in life where we’re not selling. Never. I love selling. I love the process of selling. I love the idea of selling. I love sales. The reason I love sales is you can’t afford not to like sales in life. When you walk into a room at a party and you want to come across well, you want to make new friends, you want a girlfriend, you want to have someone get attracted to you, you’re selling.
The entire evening, you’re selling. You may not think of it that way and we don’t but we’re selling. I’m selling when I put on my best clothes to go out. I’m selling when I on my shirt. I’m selling when I put on my cologne. I’m selling with everything I do to take care of myself so that I can create the right impression.
Whenever I’m with my family and I’m trying to convince them to see my way of thinking because we’re having an argument and I want them to understand what I’m trying to tell them. I’m selling. I’m selling an idea.
When I’m with friends and I’m arguing and I’m debating and I’m trying to win this argument, I’m selling. I’m selling you my point of view. If I’m in a business, if I’m in a big corporation and I’m trying to work my way up that ladder. I’m selling.
I have to sell you on the idea that I should be here instead of here. When I want to pay raise, I’m selling. I’m selling you on the idea that I’m worth this much not this much. When I’ll go to a newer corporation I go for an interview and I want that job, I’m selling.
Every moment of our lives in some way shape or form, we are selling. We can’t afford not to like selling. When people say to me I’m not a salesperson, I say you are never going to get what you want in life. Because how can you get what you want if you can’t sell something.
If you can’t sell yourself, if you can’t sell an idea. Now you may not be selling ’cause my traditional idea of a salesperson when I was growing up was the guy selling double-glazing. Like selling windows and that would be my idea. Now what that really describes is the person who’s selling something that they really can’t stand. Someone who’s selling something that they don’t like.
It is essential to learn to love that process.
But when it comes to selling A, the best product we’ll ever be able to sell which is ourselves and B, whatever product or service it is we’re passionate about in the world which may be outside of us is a far more enjoyable experience and I would argue that we have to. It is essential to learn to love that process.
To be in love with that process. Now if I’m passionate about the product or the service, it’s easier to work on the product or the service than to work on actually selling it. So I keep working on the product or service and there are many, many, many businesses every single day who go out of business, who have a fantastic product or service that they’ve been working on since day one but they can’t get it out there because they either can’t or they won’t sell it. I had someone, I literally just came from running a five-day retreat in Florida.
That’s why I’m happen to be here this weekend. I was running a five-day retreat here in Florida. And we take people to this beautiful place like an unbelievable paradise or villa with 50-foot lake pools and hot tubs and cinema rooms and it’s just beautiful. And we take people to a really inspirational environment where they start to think of everything that they want in their lives.
Everything that their life is going to be about. Every strategy, every goal and every ritual that’s going to get them there. And we had one woman on this retreat who wanted to start her own business.
And she told me about this business that she wanted to start, she was so excited about it. She said it’s going to be about this and I’m going to do this and I’m so excited and I can’t wait because people are going to love what I have to offer and and I said so what’s your next move?
She said well I’m going to design my website and I’m going to get business cards and I’m going to get premises and I’m going to basically set up everything. Set the accounts, set up the corporation, set up the the the legal entity of the company and as she described all these things that were going to cost her money and time.
When we actually looked at it, it was a few thousand pounds, I should say dollars, worth of investment to start this thing. Now, afterwards, I said how you going to sell it? She said well once I’ve got the money to make the product really, really good and I’ve done that and I’ve worked really hard on that then obviously I can start going into places and selling it.
I argued to her and I will argue this for most businesses that start. Sell the thing first. Sell the thing first. Even if it doesn’t exist. Sell the thing first. You you might have a idea for a time machine and you know, you know how to do it. It’s going to take you a year, it’s going to take you five million dollars worth of investment but you know how to do it. Still go and sell it first.
Go out there, speak to someone, find out if someone wants a time machine. Ask them, sit them down, pitch them a time machine. Tell them you’ve already got it. It doesn’t matter. You’re not going to take their money.
Pitch them on it, pitch them on it, pitch them on it and at the end of the meet and if they say, I’ll write you a check for that right now. You could say, brilliant, I’ll see you in a year. Don’t give me any money yet but I’ll see you in a year.
Now you know you can sell it. Now you know you can sell it. If you want to be a coach, if you want to be a nutritionist, if you want to be a personal trainer, if you want to be an accountant, if you want to be a mechanic.
Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Call someone up and try and sell them on it and if at the end of the call they say, where can I give you my credit card details? What cards do you take? At that point, you know you can put money into it.
Ask A Favor
Amy Eisinger: WomanI’m actually a little bit shy when it comes to like really approaching a guy in a social setting. So if I actually work up enough nerve to go and flirt with a guy, what the hell do I say to him?
The best way to approach a guy is to ask a favor, right? Guys love doing favors for women. There was a study done in the 70s into the psychology of favors. What they were looking for is the obvious relationship with favors.
If I do you a favor you’ll like me more. Here’s what they found. If I do you a favor, I’ll like you more because we like people that we’re able to help in some way. So when that’s done from the direction of man to woman, it’s actually accentuated because men love to provide and protect. Part of our instincts. So when you walk up to a guy and you say, I could really use your help with something.
Guys go into this like, knight in shining armor mode like anything. So you say to a guy, you could say to a guy in a coffee shop I could really use your help with something, could you hold my jacket for two seconds while I give these drinks to my friends. I’ve run out of hands. He says, okay ’cause no guy says no.
Right? He says okay. You give your drinks to friends, you come back to take your jacket and you say thank you so much that was really kind, you’re a gentleman. How’s your day going anyway?
Amy Eisinger: And now you’re into a conversation.
Now you’re in a conversation and it was a way of, he thinks he did that. He thinks that was his move an he goes, alright, I started talking to her. You asked a favor. I always use the example of a woman a century ago. When women say I’m old-fashioned, I don’t make the first move. Then I say well then you’re not old-fashioned. Women have been making the first move for far longer than we’ve been around.
When a woman walks past a guy a century ago, thinks he’s attractive, takes out her handkerchief and just subtly drops it. She keeps walking, the guy sees the handkerchief and says, this is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man. Picks it up, walks over to her and says madam, you dropped this. And she says, did I? And the two them now have a conversation.
You put in his head the idea of a relationship or some romance between you within 10 seconds of an interaction, right? So you already have tension. Most women are saying two dates in, when should I start being you know seductive or flirtatious? The seduction starts in the first second. Seduction starts immediately. But people don’t realize that.
Have More Confidence
So those of you who, we’ve talked about those two levels. Your surface level and your middle level and then I think you have the core level of confidence. I think I use the kind of metaphor of like, like the big ship, like a Titanic or something where on the bottom level, the top level, that surface level is only built for one thing, it’s built to look good, right? So passengers come on they think it looks amazing, right?
It’s built for the upper echelon to come and enjoy it. The middle level is there and then underneath, you’ve got the core level which is basically those guys at the bottom of the ship. I don’t know a lot about ships but I presume they’re the ones shoveling coal to make the ship move, right? On the Titanic. Well, those are the people that are actually putting in the core, core groundwork.
Okay and for me, core confidence can only be gained by truly loving yourself. By truly, truly being your own best friend and appreciating who you are. Now, it sounds kind of deep and kind of cheesy for a lot of people and I know a lot of times when I say this in a seminar, I see people kind of switch off a little bit. Right? Because they think, okay that’s great but what’s, tell me another opener.
Interviewer: People like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate myself. I’m and cool, whatever.
Yeah, exactly, exactly and I think, how many of these people are actually looking in the mirror in the morning and thinking, that that guy right there is my best friend? And I think you have to be like that. Even if you’re not used to getting sentimental about yourself, you better start now because you’re all you’ve got, essentially. And the truth is you can get the surface level, as I said you can fake the surface level. You can get that all taken care off. The way you walk, the way you talk, what you say. You know, everyone teaches that on a bootcamp anyway.
Interviewer: And a lot of people do. That’s the other thing. A lot of people cannot distinguish the core level confidence from that surface level so when they go out to the bar, they see a lot of guys who dress nice and they think, wow they’re just amazing with women and then when you actually meet these guys, you’re like wow, there’s really nothing passed your loafers.
Interviewer: Like there’s nothing to you.
Absolutely. So, then, here’s the big point because if you get the surface level taken care off then it’s the lifestyle level because if you’re in a club and you’re talking to women, you’ve got your fashion sense sorted out, you know what you’re saying. Well, eventually we know that 10 minutes later or half hour later or two dates later, she’s going to want to see that there’s something behind all that.
Okay, which is where your lifestyle confidence comes in. That in middle level confidence, now she’s going to want to see that you’ve got a life that you enjoy, that you’re proud of and that you’re happy with your hobbies, everything. But that’s still, in a way, not a shakiest surface level but it’s still a little bit shaky because it can still be taken away from you, right?
As I’ve said, we can we can be in an accident tomorrow and we can lose our job, we can not have the body or the other looks that we once had, we age. All of this stuff happens which starts to slowly eat away at that lifestyle level. So, that’s not to say you shouldn’t get that in order but you have to be aware that you could lose all that tomorrow and if you lose all that tomorrow, you have one thing left which is your core confidence.
Which is how much, in spite of not necessarily having that job anymore or not having my looks on my side anymore and not having my health for my side, how much do I genuinely love myself? How much can I love myself through all this? And I think, it’s not a question that you can necessarily answer in its entirety until you’ve lost all that. Right? I’m well aware that I’m in a in a luxury.
I haven’t always been in this position but right now in my life, I’m in a nice position where that middle level is kind of is taken care off to some extent. I’ve got a long way to go. But it’s taken care off to some extent and I feel good about that. I mean I enjoy my life. But I’m well aware that if all that went tomorrow, I would have a totally new challenge. Which is now being confident without all of that stuff.
Which is that core level and that’s when you really get tested. But I think in spite of everything, if you’re in a place right now where you’re kind of in a low ebb or you feel like you haven’t got that job you want or whatever, that’s the time to really get core confident. Not wait for those things to make your core confident because it will never happen.
Interviewer: Right, it doesn’t work backward.
No, we all know people who’ve got everything. Fame, money, status whatever and they’re still not core confident.
Interviewer: And then it’s even harder to get there because you have to hit rock bottom. You have to be at the bottom of the barrel and then you say, hey you know what? It comes from within, it doesn’t come from external validation.
Matthew: Absolutely, absolutely. I always think of for me, this is kind of a weird way to look at it but I always think, if you look back to yourself when you were a kid. If you want a visualization exercise, that’s going to help you get more core confident.
Sit down for a couple of minutes and just picture yourself as a little kid again and look at yourself having not been through any of the stuff that you’ve been through. Not had any of the crap that you had to deal with, not being bullied that time at school or made a fallout off or whatever.
You haven’t been through anything yet. And you get to see you as a blank canvas and when you actually see yourself with that person and actually imagine yourself like being really good to that little guy, to that little you, you’ll find, I do this in seminars.
I have guys welling up because it really gets, it affects people on a core level to think of themselves like that. Like oh, this is me and like telling yourself, you know, this is going to be alright. You know, I’m still here we’re alright.
Everything is going to be fine. It really does help and if you want a visualization exercise or anyone else out there does, that’s a great one to do. I do it in my seminars. As I said, it has people just break down and weep because they really do find out well, actually, God I actually do love myself.
Rule number five is my personal favorite, and I’d love to know which one you guys like the best.
Matthew Hussey’s Rules
- Just Do It!
- Take Risks
- Start With Mild Interest
- You Have To Have Competence
- Seize Every Opportunity (Evan’s Favorite Rule for an Entrepreneur Mindset).
- Use Vulnerability To Stand Out
- Let Them Hate
- Find The Right Role Models
- Focus On Providing Value
- Have Fun
I hope you enjoyed this article, make sure to check my Matthew Hussey video on his Top 10 Rules For Success as well.