Good morning, Believe Nation.
Today’s message is overcome your fears. Over to you Gabrielle Bernstein.
Lewis: What’s the first step to overcoming the fear or transforming the fear?
Gabrielle: To witness it. To be the non-judgemental witness of it. To look at it and say, something’s got to give. So, if you’re unwilling to look at your fear head on and honor it and witness, I would say if you don’t show up for what’s up, it would it will keep showing up.
So looking at saying, I witness my resistance and you see that fear as resistance, fear is the resistance to what it is that you desire. And in the absence of resistance, you become a magnet for what you desire, when you let go of that fear and you transcend that fear, that’s when you start to become a super attractor.
“When you’re not looking at the fear, you’re just living in the fear and you’re believing in the problem. But when you witness the fear and you’re willing to see it differently, you start living in the solution.” – Gabrielle Bernstein
That’s when you start to let what is truly of essence for you in your life, what is truly of service for you into your life, what is true happiness into your life and so looking at the fear, witnessing it, calling it by its name, and even if you don’t have the tools yet, what happens is when you look at the fear and you’re like oh, I see this fear, I see this resistance, I see how it’s blocking my life and I choose to see it differently. That’s when you’re listening to an audio like this. That’s when a book like yours will fall off a shelf.
Lewis: The catalyst.
Gabrielle: Yeah, exactly, you open up your consciousness pretty much. You crack open your consciousness to find solutions rather than fight problems. So when you’re not looking at the fear, you’re just living in the fear and you’re believing in the problem. But when you witness the fear and you’re willing to see it differently, you start living in the solution.
I think the key to overcoming your fear is the awareness of the fear. I think most people aren’t even aware of their biggest fears that are holding them back on a daily basis in their business and in their lives. What often happens is somebody gives you an opportunity.
Come speak at this event or here’s this project to work with this person or go on this date, whatever it is, you get an opportunity, and the real fear you have is that you’re not good enough. That you’re going to fail. That you’re not going to give a good result. That’s really the fear deep down inside when you come up with, I don’t have the time to do it. I don’t have the time to do it is the biggest BS excuse of all time.
You may not be making the priority to go out and do it but we all have the same amount of time. You should never say I don’t have the time. You can say I choose not to do it. I choose not to make the time. But as soon you say I don’t have the time, you abdicate responsibility. You are in control. You get to pick what you do with your 24 hours everyday.
It’s the one thing that is equal across every human being. We all have 24 hours. So we disguise our real fear with some practical reason. We say we don’t have the time, we don’t have the resources, blah blah blah, whatever it is but really it’s some kind of fear.
And I think that’s the case for a lot of people. So many of our fears are so subconscious and we’re so, we do it so automatically, every single day and we’ve convinced ourselves there’s a logical reason behind it. So the first step in my mind is the awareness of the fear.
“The key to overcoming your fear is the awareness of the fear” – Evan Carmichael
The awareness that it’s not a lack of resources. The awareness is not a lack of time. And it’s really that, I’m just afraid that I’m going to fail and I don’t want to do it anymore. So awareness of the fear is the first thing. Next thing is, do you have to why to get out of it.
Is it important to break that thing?
Is it important to crush through that fear?
Do you have a strong enough reason to make a painful change?
And when you do, the third step is to start to catch it. And you often can’t catch it in the moment. Usually comes afterwards, usually if you’re meeting with somebody and you do the same thing that you always do and you don’t catch it in the moment, you catch it the next day.
Ah, I did it again, I should have said that, I should have done that and I didn’t, I did it again. I succumbed to my fear again and when you have that awareness what you’ll find is the awareness is getting closer and closer and closer and closer to the moment where it’s actually happened.
“Get closer and closer and closer to the moment to where it’s happening and then choose to be bold, choose to be powerful, and choose to push through your fear.” – Evan Carmicahel
So you started off and it’s the next day when you realize it and then next time, maybe a couple of hours later, next time’s a couple minutes later and then you get to that magical moment, that magical moment where you caught yourself just before you take the action.
You’re meeting with somebody and they’re giving you a project and you’re bound to back away, the words are about to come out of your mouth, it’s about to happen again, the same pattern that you’ve always done forever and ever it’s about to come out again and you had that magical moment to catch yourself and choose to be bold to overcome the fear to push through it and take a separate action. Instead of going the same path you always go, swerve and go this way.
And when you do that, it gives you the muscle to do it again. And every time you get to that point, it’s going to become easier and easier and easier and easier and easier.
So one for me is understand what your real fear is, know that we have the awareness.
Two, have a strong enough why to get out of it.
And then three, get closer and closer and closer to the moment to where it’s happening and then choose to be bold, choose to be powerful, and choose to push through your fear.
So the question of the day is, I’m curious what is one of your biggest fears as it relates to life or business, not like a fear of snakes but a biggest fear that you have that you feel is holding you back in your business somehow, leave down in the comments, I’m curious to find out.
I also want to give a quick shout out to Paul Rogers. Paul thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word, really really means a lot to me man, and I hope you enjoyed the read. So thank you guys again for watching, I believe in you, I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love and I’ll see you again tomorrow morning for another shot of Entspresso.
Overcome Your Fears
With every milestone, while you might be excited about the milestone, there’s a part of the milestone that you don’t want to face, are you hearing me? And listen to me, I’ve knocked out the coursework, boom, got it done, in order.
ET, why did it take you two years, ET, after you finished your coursework why did it take you two years to get started with your dissertation? I’m going to be 100 with you, look knocked all the coursework out, but when I finally got to the dissertation, I had to get to that demon.
I had to deal with, I had to face it, face what? We’re not talking about elementary school, middle school, high school, I’ve had a professor or two tell me in college that you will never get your dissertation, that while your writing has improved but in terms of your analysis, like you are not critical enough to do a dissertation.
Are you hearing what I’m telling you? We’re talking about, man I love math coming up, why? It is what it is, please excuse my dear aunt Sally. Like it is what it is right? It’s not subjective, writing is subjective. I’ve had teachers look at my work and strip it into parts, the fear, the fear of what, the fear of rejection, right?
My teachers were so subjective, I put my whole heart into it, I put everything I could put and they tell me, edit it again, revision after revision. Edit after edit, are you hearing what I’m telling you? I had to deal with the fact that writing had never really been my strong suit and even though I worked hard and put in hours and hours in the back mind, in the back of mind, I could hear the teachers say, ET you don’t have what it takes to get a dissertation. I’m a grown man dealing with that fear.
I’m a grown man dealing with the rejection of getting all that red on my paper of having to do it over and over and over and over and come on, come on somebody feels me. You’ll feel like you’ll do 120 percent, you’ll give everything you have and it still won’t be enough, I feel you, I was there.
A part of the milestone is, what if I give everything and it ain’t enough, what if I put my whole heart, my whole mind, my whole soul into it ET and it’s not enough, what if I do it and I fail? So I feel you, so you’re just like you not going to do it at all because you’d rather not do it and find out the truth and I’m telling you you got to do me a favor, you got to face your fear, you got to do it anyway.
Your boy ET had to face his fear, that’s right, I know you see ET, beast mode, and you’re right, I am beast mode but it don’t mean beast mode without fear, it don’t mean beast mode without a little anxiety. It don’t mean beast mode and I’m just a 120 percent sure. No, I have to live by faith too and I made up in my mind, ET, you got to go after it E. Look I finished my coursework, it took me two years, why? ‘Cause it took me two years to get over the fear.
It took me two years to get over the anxiety. It took me two years to finally say, Goliath here I come, Goliath, you might be taller than me, you might be bigger than me, you might be stronger than me, but I’m coming and I’d rather die trying. I’d rather die going after this dissertation. I’d rather give everything I got, I’d rather give a year, I’d rather put in work and fail, then not try at all.
Overcome Your Fears
Interviewer: There’s a scene in there where you talked about bullies and running from danger and things like that when you were trying to help this kid.
Yeah, what happens is this boy is being harassed by the neighborhood bully and his father’s encouraging his son to beat up this little boy. And I wrote this scene, I wrote this particular scene in the script and I was trying to think, what can I write to encourage this boy to handle the situation, you know with this bully in the neighborhood? And I’m spending days trying to figure out, what can I say to boy?
And finally I came up with the answer and it was a situation that I as a child had encountered about his age, I went to a school in Arizona that was mostly Indians from the reservation. And there’s this one Indian kid who just didn’t like me and every day he chased me home from school.
And I had to run by this gas station and this mechanic watched me being chased by this Indian kid every day and finally he just couldn’t handle it anymore and he stopped me and made me face this boy. And I told him, I said, you know I’m scared.
And he said well, and what he said to me, which is still true which I remember is that he says that running from your fear is more painful than facing it. And that’s something I’ve always remembered. And this is what I relate to this boy. And of course, eventually he has to face this fear in the film.
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